The Cherry PIt is in the news again. The Duncanville, Tx police raided the Pitt and hauled away a lot of evidence. The police raided the suburban Dallas swingers’ club confiscating items from the 50 or so people who were there.(about half of the number the police claimed regularly attended the club) The raid was executed pursuant to a search warrant alleging the club was in reality an illegal sexually oriented business. No one was arrested but all attendees were identified and photographed.

The Cherry PIt is a private residence tucked in away in an upscale Duncanville residential neighborhood. The Cherry Pit advertises on the internet and according to published reports draws as many as 100 guests to a weekend gathering.

The Cherry Pit has been throwing adult-oriented parties where couples pay a fee for entry and can engage in pretty much any type of sexual activity they want on the premises. It is the position of the owners that this does not constitute a “business” as the entrance money is to cover the cost of food, soft drinks etc and not a fee for the privilege of engaging in sex from the tame to the “Pulp Fiction” apple in the mouth brand of entertainment…. It is rumored for an extra service charge they will even “bring out the gimp“

The controversy started back in November of 2007 when after several years of Cherry Pitt neighbors complaining about the crime, traffic and “unsavory element” “the pit” was bringing to the neighborhood, the City of Duncanville passed the following ordinance:

“the operation and maintenance of a sex club to be unlawful and a public nuisance. Violation of the new ordinance can result in a fine of up to $2,000.”

The PIt has received 10 citations, five for operating a sex club and five for operating a sexually oriented business without a license.

The city of Duncanville then decided that the gatherings at the Cherry Pit were more than just a gathering of “friends and family” looking for some fun and determined that it was in fact a sexually oriented business and subect to the ordinance. The response of Julie Norris, one of the owners of “The PIt” was as follows:

“I don’t know what their definition of a business is, but to my understanding a business is public – anyone can just walk into it and you must pay to get in and we are none of that,” Norris said. “I accept donations. Have you ever had your friends over for a barbecue and asked everyone to pitch in $5 or bring a dish? That is exactly what we do. The only requirement to get into my home is that you call and let me know that you are coming and you are on my reservation list.”

Ms Norris went on to state that she believed that the ordinance is a guise to attack their lifestyles and beliefs and that the ordinance regulating the club violated their First Amendment Rights to Privacy.

“It boils down to people want to put their morality into my private home and I am going to stand against that,” Norris said. “That is not what the Constitution allows.”

The owners of the Cherry PIt subsequently counter sued the city claiming the ordinance banning sex clubs violates their privacy and due process rights. They are basically using the same argument under which a right to privacy was found under Roe v. Wade. They have to use this method in making the right to privacy argument because there is in fact no right to personal privacy spelled out in the Constitution.

The Cherry Pit’s attorney, Ed Klein, said the city is trying to regulate private acts in a private home using the public nuisance law as a “pretext” to do so….

The Cherry Pitt has remained open while all the legal wrangling has taken place. The City of Duncanville broadened the ordinance designed to shut the club down by making the definition of a sex club more general and add a local appeal process for sex clubs that the city orders to close.

Duncanville city officials have said that the club is a public nuisance that is “detrimental to the health, safety and welfare of the city of Duncanville.”

So what you do think? Should private citizens be allowed to “swap pits” at the Pitt without the government getting its’ rocks off?

(WASHINGTON) CNN has learned that President George W. Bush will announce what he termed a “historic news conference”. Press Secretary Dana Perino stated that the announcement would be of unprecedented scientific and political significance. While the administration has been tight lipped on any further details, CNN has been able to obtain certain key details and the attached photos taken with a cell phone camera smuggled into Area 51. The photos are both stunning and frightening in their national and world significance.

CNN has has been told that an announcement will be made that the question of whether we are alone in the universe has been answered. The answer will pose a significant threat to national and world security. President Bush is considering a complete recall of the National Guard from the Middle East. An emergency session of Congress has been convened to consider reinstating the draft to deal with this galactic threat.

It appears that for the past 3 years there have been breaches of United States airspace by extra-terrestrial crafts which have deposited millions of undetected “pods” hidden in rural farm fields and uninhabited terrain in both the United States, Canada. After a three week “gestation” period, these pods have hatched humanoid creatures which the Bush administration as termed “OBOMAROIDS”.

CNN has learned that these “OBAMAROIDS” when fully developed appear completely human to the naked eye and communicate both verbally, telepathically along with mind control capabilities. These OBAMAROIDS were first detected through a mysterious signal that seemed to be emanating from Obama Girls videos on YouTube.

A team of decryption specialists at MIT have been able to determine that the source of the signal. It is a previously undetected alien satellite of unknown origin orbiting the earth. While the meaning of the signals are still unknown, it has been determined that part of the signal transmits the message: “I am John McCain, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Catch Up” It has also been determined though brain scans that there is a definite mind control component to the signal. It is unknown how long this signal has been transmitted and how many people have been infected.

President Bush will issue an executive order tommorow extending the Military Commissions Act of 2006 to extra-terrestrials. He will then declare the Obama girls “enemy combatants”. They have already been arrested by the FBI and are being held in a specially fortified holding cell in Guantanamo Bay. This cell is designed to prevent any type of signals going in or out.

Scientists from all over the world have alleged come together at Area 51 in New Mexico to hopefully determine the extent of the invasion and whether the signal has affected the internet. Specially designed sunglasses are being developed that would be able to spot these OBAMAROIDS in their alien form. One MIT scientist speaking on condition of anonymity due to national security concerns stated when seen in their alien form , these OBMAROIDS were ugly, “lizard like” creatures.

Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama had little to say when briefed on these developments. He was overhead on a “hot mike” commenting that he had purchased new designer sunglasses for everyone on his staff.

Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain stated that he was ready to battle the OBAMAROIDS wherever they were on land and sea. He also stated that he was ready to “re-up” for military service and felt confident that he could be brought up to speed quickly on the new military fighter jets. When asked if his age would prevent him from military service, McCain stated that he had just watched the movie Independence Day and if Randy Quaid could save the world from aliens, he should get his shot.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this special CNN special report entitled ATTACK OF THE OBAMAROIDS!

Brothers Alexander Adolph, Louis and Brian William live in a quiet working- class suburb in Long Island ,New York. They are all native New Yorkers. None have ever married or had children. Two of them have their own landscaping business and one is a social worker. Their brother Howard died in an auto accident. It has been reported that these brothers have lived a sad life by most standards. Living in seclusion, loneliness and fear. An existence with no vision or concept of what the American dream could or should mean to them. The dream of marriage, family children, grandchildren. The hope and dreams that we all grab hold of. The hope that our children will have better lives than we have. The hopes that our name and bloodline will be carried well into the future long after we are dust. Hopes not denied by death, disease or inability to enjoy the anticipation of the future. Hopes these boys have apparently denied themselves with purpose and resolve.

Why is this story any different or any more important than the struggles others living in the same neighborhood the same street, their next door neighbors? What has eliminated the hopes of the future of family and the continuation of family name to be carried proudly into future? Two words that are vilified world-wide have apparently crushed this middle class America family. Those words are “Adolph Hitler“.

The nephews of Adolf Hitler are alive and well in Long Island, New York. The only American descendants of Adolph Hitler are living quietly under assumed names. In about 40-50 years, barring death by unnatural causes, this bloodline of Adolph Hitler will be severed for all time. The brothers have reportedly entered into a pact that none will marry or have children. This will put an end to the irony and curse of the Hitler legacy in the United States.

How did relatives of Adolph Hitler end up living a middle class life in Long Island, New York? It is certainly not something we would envision.

William Patrick Hitler was born in Liverpool in 1911. He was the son of

Adolph Hitler’s half-brother Alois. William moved to Berlin in the 1930′s. He attempted to capitalize on the notoriety of the Hitler name using various ploys and his resemblance to Hitler to make money. It is reported that Hitler himself regarded William as a freeloader and buffoon calling him one of his “most repulsive” relatives. Just prior to the German invasion of Poland, William took his show on the road to the United States.

Much as modern day celebrities, he charged per appearance to regale not yet “Hitler sensitized” American audiences with life “inside the Nazi Reich”. As America was drawn into the war and Americans became aware of the brutal nature of the Hitler regime, the glamour and appeal of profiting off the Hitler name undoubtedly waned and quickly turned to fear of reprisal and ridicule. He later attempted to enlist in the military and was rejected. Not happy with this he wrote a letter to President Franklin D. Roosevelt. As one can imagine a letter from a blood relative to the man considered “evil incarnate” caused quite a stir. The letter triggered an investigation by the FBI. He was determined not to be a threat and eventually was allowed to enlist in the United States Navy. After the war, he made his way to New York City and then Long Island, NY, where he married, had children and lived the rest of his years. William Patrick Hitler passed away in 1987.  In addition to the material things  he handed down to his children he passed on an incurable disease.  A disease no less insidious than had he passed on Leprosy. A disease marked by seclusion, ridicule and shame. The disease of the Hitler name and genetics. A disease deemed so terrible by the nephews that they determined the only way to cure it was to deny themselves all that we love and cherish by entering into the Hitler Pact to end the blood-line forever.

While there certainly is curiosity value to the existence of the Hitler blood descendants in the United States, there are fascinating questions in both psychology and science.

What internal and external psychological forces drive three brothers to voluntarily choose to suppress those basic biological drives that we all possess and strive to fulfill? How has this denial of these basic instincts affected their psychological health?

What can genetic testing of these brother tell us? Are the brothers carrying any genetic markers that would offer some explanation for Hitler’s psychopathic behavior?

Can genetic testing tell us whether Hitler had any Jewish lineage? One of the most historically fascinating remaining question about Hitler unresolved to this day is whether Adolph Hitler had any Jewish ancestors or as he would put it “Jewish blood”. It is a popular wives tail that Adolph Hitler was part Jewish but this has never been confirmed. If DNA testing on Hitler blood relatives can not tell us, it will probably remain a mystery for all time. It has been reported that Hitler himself was obsessed with this possibility. Hitler tried his best to hide his origins. According to Dr. Fritz Redlich in his book, Diagnosis of A Destructive Prophet, Hitler feared that his paternal grandfather was Jewish. As noted in the book, Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers, there are few publications that examine this issue and none have verified sources. Pages 172-175 of the book contain a fascinating discussion of the various arguments on both sides of the coin.

In order to get a more complete perspective on the DNA issue I consulted author and historian Dr. Bryan Mark Rigg Ph.D. He is the author of Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers and Rescued From The Reich. Here is what he had to say:

“If the DNA shows anything, it will show how interconnected we all are. It could possibly answer the question of his possible Jewish background. While a gene study might give us some insight into his psychopathic behavior, it was probably more of a product of his abusive upbringing. Regardless of his background, he was an angry, evil man. In the end, it would help us all realize that we need to learn how to embrace the good in us and fight the evil regardless of our genetics. In the end you do not need proof of Hitler’s genetics to learn this truth about humanity.”

Will Alexander Adolph, Louis or Brian William ever tell us what their hopes and dreams have been and what they are now? Will they tell us why they entered into a pact never to marry or have children? Was it to spare their spouses and children the ridicule and loneliness they must have suffered.? Could it be much simpler in that they foresaw certain rejection from any women who discovered their secret and were sparing themselves the pain. Did they fear the uncertainly of the “Hitler genetics”? While this “societal sterilization” was self-imposed, it was also pushed on them by the thread of intolerance that often dooms generations upon generations to pay for the sins of their parents. These three healthy boys who were born with no future as if they had an incurable disease that will be genetically passed down for all time, the only solution was apparently to stop the bleeding by ceasing to exist. The Hitler Nephews are reportedly writing their own book about their experiences. Can they offer more than science? In the meantime the heart of humanity beats on…

©2009 Brian Cuban

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Cougars have been all over the news. Not the four legged kind. The 40+ female kind prowling the darkness of the night in search of the their prey. The 25-30 year old hard bodied pool boy role playing the part of the 30k a year millionaire douche-bag. Polo sleeves rolled up. Phony bank statement in back pocket. Tribal tattoo and a cheat card for local gangster rapper signs in the other pocket. In all the hubbub about Cougars I began to wonder to myself. What ever happened to the good old fashioned Gold Digger? The 20-30 year old hot bodied secretary by day, stripper by night, sharing and apartment with 4 roomies, three rented dresses and looking for all the sweetness us 45-55 year old sugar-daddies have to offer. Have they gone out of style? Maybe they have seen the episode of Sex And The City where the 70 year old shows his bare butt. It has scared them all off. My home of Dallas, Texas was once the gold-digging capital of the world but now seems to have shifted to the big games of Cougars. I thought all was lost until I read this article(pdf) in Glamour Magazine. (Real Men Read Glamour).

The article is about this lady name Jennifer Binder. She is talking about her thoughts and experiences in having dated the multi-millionaire “ultimate big shot”, disgraced former Enron big wig, Jeff Skilling, who has been convicted of numerous crimes related to the Enron collapse and is currently serving a federal 24-year, 4-month prison sentence. As I read the article, it occurred to me that this Binder lady was really Ashley Dupre and Eliot Spitzer five years removed. I am not saying that Jennifer was a “call girl” in the literal sense of the word but there are some analogies to be made here. If you could read between the lines what your really had was “THE GOLDIGGERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY”

I have been able to successfully decipher the galactic meaning of this article. I am going to translate it for everyone by outlining what she says and giving my “take” as to the “galactic” meaning for all the other “GDITs” (Gold Diggers In Training). Here are her quotes from the article and what she was really saying after applying my Star Trek Universal Translator:

Binder: “Jeff did indeed fly me to England for our first date; later he bought me jewelry and even helped with the down-payment on my house”

Galactic Translation: I am a professional gold-digger. I have no other means of support. I would not even look at you twice unless you had a “Gulfstream” waiting to whisk me off to an exotic location that went over one ocean or the other before we landed.

Binder: “that (the money) really blinded me to the age difference…”

Galactic Translation: Unlike Cougars, professional Gold Diggers have no age requirements. If you are 90 years old and still breathing, I’m all yours if that Gulfstream is fueled and ready. If you’re a trust fund baby, I will “babysit” you until you are old enough to appreciate Cougars.

Binder: “Greed is not good for a relationship”

Galactic Translation: Lots of money will kill a relationship if you no longer have it.

Binder: “If it seems like has something to hide, he has something to hide”

Galactic Translation: If you pay for my condo; seed my bank account; buy my Lexus and fly me to London every week for dinner, I don’t care if you are hiding eight ex-wives, five illegitimate children and are a registered sex offender.

Binder: “When friends don’t have anything nice to say about your boyfriend, listen”

Galactic Translation: If he is doing all of the above, WHO NEED FRIENDS!

Binder: “You really can learn from every experience”

Galactic Translation: When you have your next billionaire ‘”mark” in your sites, and he is about to be indicted for anything or pass away from old age, get as many assets as possible including the jet, transferred to your name before he goes to jail or dies.

There you have it. There is no longer any need to take Dramamine every night to combat pole swinging motion sickness. Follow the simple rules above and the world of rich geezers and insider trading felons is yours for the taking.

©2008 Brian Cuban