The 11th tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous states as follows:
“Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.”
What does this mean in a nutshell? We in the program are asked not to speak or write in media of any form about the fact that we are in AA. We are asked to only talk about it with other members and those who approach us for help. While blogs and the internet were not around when the 11th tradition was conceived, I suspect that AA as an organization would take the position that they constitute “media”. What is the rationale behind this? The powers that be decided over 70 years ago that to “promote yourself” as an AA member and then fail in your sobriety, you are putting the sobriety of others at risk. The logic being that the knowledge of a failure in the program will discourage those who want help from seeking it. For example, I talk publicly about how great AA is on my blog. I then relapse, drive drunk and wipe out a family. Would knowledge that I had failed discourage others from seeking help? I don’t know. I don’t think anyone in AA really knows either. They are, in my opinion, regurgitating years of accepted dogma not founded in any accepted studies or statistical probabilities.
Alcoholics Anonymous is no stranger to celebrities and people of note “outing” themselves through the media.
Tatum O’Neal is a celebrity with a documented history of drug and alcohol struggles. On June 1, 2008, she was arrested for
buying crack in Central Park. O’Neal was later photographed on her way to an AA Meeting. How do we know she was going there? When asked how she was doing she said, ” I am doing very well. I’m going to an AA meeting”
Lindsay Lohan is no stranger to insobriety. Who can forget her infamous alcohol detecting ankle monitor (see photo). In her case, Lindsay didn’t break the 11 tradition; her publicist did. She put out a press release that Lindsay was attending AA. It is a logical assumption this was at Lindsay’s direction.
Mel Gibson’s antisemitic drunken rant after a DUI stop will go down in the annals of “the stupid things drunks do.” His
drinking issues have been long the subject of tabloid fodder. Mel must have read the 11th tradition. He has not publicly spoken of his attendance at his court ordered AA meetings. Mel suffered the Hollywood fate of being outed by every Hollywood rag and celebrity blog on the face of the earth. (I guess no one sent them copies of the 11th tradition.)
Fox News Anchor Mort Kondracke while not as well known as the above is very well known in the political Washington D.C Beltway. He is a well known newspaper columnist, Washington bureau chief, magazine editor. He was one of the original panelists on the syndicated McLaughlin Group and now co-host of Fox TV’s Beltway Boys. We also know that he was an attendee of Alcoholics Anonymous. We know this because he outed himself in his bestselling book Saving Milly. In the book he states:
“That night I attended my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have not had a drink since” (Saving Milly, Love Politics and Parkinson’s Disease by Morton Kondracke, pg 65)
Actor Michael J. Fox in his autobiography Lucky Man, discusses his struggles with alcohol in a manner consistent with the
11th tradition, simply stating:
” I met my friend on that Monday and over the following days, months and years, she along with an ever widening circle of new friends, all of whom prefer to remain anonymous, showed me it was possible to live a life without alcohol” ( Lucky Man, Michael J. Fox, p. 162)
Britney Spears is no fan of the 11th tradition. Neither was her boyfriend at the time John Sundahl who, back in 2007, happily told the National Enquirer that he met Britney at an AA meeting in Los Angeles. You would think John was very up to speed on the 11th tradition since he allegedly was an “AA counselor”
Martin Sheen just recently “shredded” the 11th tradition when he gave an interview to AARP magazine discussing his own and his son Charlie Sheen’s struggles with drug and alcohol abuse. He talks openly and extensively about his involvement with AA. In the interview Martin states:
“……..and then he suggested that I join AA, and I did. I was astonished when I got into AA, because I didn’t know how spiritual the program was. I said, ‘You guys use the word God.’ ‘Oh, we do. If you believe it. If you don’t, then it’s a higher power”
Is it safe to say that AARP magazine has significantly higher readership than my blog? If you are to believe all the people touting the 11th tradition, Martin Sheen has single handedly doomed countless alcoholics to a life of drunkenness.
Then there is Brian Cuban. I am not on the same planet of notoriety as the above individuals. I am a simple “fame by last name” kind of guy. I’m not in movies or television. I don’t own a sports franchise. I write a blog. The only “A list” I am on is the list kept by my family, girlfriend, dog and cat. I have also made the personal choice to talk about to talk about my own Alcoholics Anonymous experiences on my blog. I am “breaking the rules” as many members of AA have told me. In reality the only “rule” in AA is that you have a desire to stop drinking if you attend a meeting. The rest of the rhetoric constitutes guidelines only. They are simple suggestions to be followed or not followed based on individual choice. Remaining anonymous is NOT a rule/requirement of membership in AA. While it is the exception rather than the rule, there are people who give their full names in AA meetings. In my personal experience, it drives the other members crazy who tend to view those people as having very large egos. They may or may not have large egos. I am not going to dissect a person’s motives and personality based on his (or her) giving a last name in a meeting. For all I know the act of that person giving his full name is the one thing that keeps him sober every day.
Many would argue that celebrities such as Tatum O’Neal and Lindsay Lohan are so new in sobriety as to not know any better than to talk about AA. As they learn the program they will learn to use restraint. This very well may be true based on whatever personal choice they make about their anonymity or lack thereof. We have not heard much from Lindsay since her initial proclamation about her involvement in the program. We do know that she relapsed after she made that announcement. We do not know what the statistics are on how many people decided not to seek help in AA because Lindsay Lohan relapsed.
For anyone who doubts this is a emotional and polarizing issue within the AA ranks, check out some of the comments I received in response to my blog, “My Year In Alcoholics Anonymous“
“Brian Cuban, as far as your inclusion of statements about your involvement with AA goes, you should shut your GD mouth. Have you no sense of responsibility to people in recovery, or to people who might one day need recovery at all? Try reading the book. It’s anonymous for good reason, so that people like you are not able to damage AA’s value.”
“………I do not know if I commend your use of AA as fodder for blog posts. The 10th(sic) Tradition of AA states “Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.” You are breaking the traditions for your own gain. You are intelligent, articulate, and thought provoking – and I encourage you to be so, but not on the back of AA. Furthermore, as a member of AA who only has 1 year sobriety, do you feel that you should be the represented voice of AA? I think your sponsor would disagree.”
These are some of the gentler comments. I welcome them all. I read them all. I never assume that I can not learn something from someone know matter how emotional the comment is or whether I agree with it.
I do agree with one aspect of the 11th tradition. It is certainly not appropriate to “out” others in the program. I have not and would never do that. Why would I not do that? I would not do it for the same reason I put no credibility in others who pretend to know what is in my best interests. Anonymity is a personal choice that should be respected on a personal level. It is no ones business but the individual’s how they want to work their AA program including expressing themselves with regards to that program. I am not answerable to “AA” as an organization or anyone in it. I am answerable on a personal level to my own conscience, the loved ones in my life and my two pets. I know from personal experience that it riles some AA members to no end that AA does not have the “cult like” rule of kicking out people who do not endorse the AA philosophy word for word. Hypocrites at their absolute best. I have no problem with their “riling”. Whatever keeps them sober and improves the quality of their life is a good thing in my book. Trying to impose your will on others is a bad thing in my book.
Why did I choose to out myself? What were my motives? Was it selfishness, ego, the seven deadly sins? This is the only explanation I will ever give. People can take it or leave it. It goes against everything I am as a person to accept any “dogma” or philosophy that endorses a static, non learning point of view.
I decided to get an opinion from the substance abuse arena. Winthrop W. Gilman, chairman of The Mychal Institute, had this to say:
“The eleventh step I believe is a great step and was written for the people who wanted personal protection from the shame associated with addiction. I think this shame is the biggest barrier to entry to treatment for any addicted person or their family. The shame associated addiction, and the misinterpreting of this tradition has done more to interfere and hinder the treatment of addiction than could ever be realized.
Requiring anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films is a dark age component, scripted early on as the founders were afraid that a vocal spokes person might have a slip and publicly show that AA dose not work.
This anonymity is a personal choice, and as educational and awareness programs have developed the 11th tradition has been breached by the daring. The results of these breaches, such as magazine articles, though far and few, have spontaneously created great advancements in the acceptance of treatment options.
The cloud of darkness found in the 11th tradition is embraced by ardent followers and not progressive thinkers. I do not know who updates these ground rules or when they do. I know that revisions and amendments are needed if we plan to attack the addiction problem in broad daylight.
To solve a problem it must be properly identified. Once this happens solutions become evident. We have the privilege to talk openly and show the world that we are in remission. We have the privilege to organize supporters and get proper medical attention. We have the ability to reverse the huge costs of addiction to our health care systems. We literally have the ability to change the world as this is a universal problem. Activism through education works. This past week Andrew Weber, president and CEO of the National Coalition on Health stated, “In the past employers have led the way doing more for the people with chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease. It is time for people to do the same for people with alcohol problems.”
Addiction related costs have destroyed our health care budgets, and we can with a grass roots approach do something about it. We have a politically hot potato in our hands. The 11th tradition has kept any effective effort to address these problems in the closet.”
Should I and others in AA keep our “GD” mouths shut? I will not but I understand the arguments of opinion, however outdated, for such a philosophy. It is a personal choice for me that will not be reversed unless someone shows me hard empirical evidence that people talking publicly about AA reduces its success rate or is instrumental in those with problems choosing not to enter the program. Many choose to simply take it all on faith. I think it is great if they want to do that and it helps them. I want to see the studies. If you can not produce this, then anything you have to say is only unsubstantiated opinion of which everyone is entitled including me.
©2008 Brian Cuban
June 21st, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Brian, I have to say that even though I am not an alcoholic, I have to take your side on this issue. Why? Because I can’t help but believe that if people like myself hear your horror stories it keeps me from getting into a comfort zone with the usage of alcohol. To me, it seems like you would no more publish someone else uou knew went to AA, than giving confidential information up in a lawyer-client relationship. I believe anyone in AA has a fudiciary type honor to one another. Now, what a person admits to the world about himself belonging to AA should be their own business and freedom to do so. I personally have learned much from you telling the world about AA through your own experiences in AA, and for that, it has helped me learn more about AA.
Thank you.
June 22nd, 2008 at 5:49 am
I stopped drinking before I was caught driving drunk or being drunk in public. I haven’t had any booze for decades.
I have seen AA work for some people but there will always be those who will drink themselves to death. That’s really hard to watch.
June 22nd, 2008 at 6:18 pm
There is one big difference between Brian Cuban (and me) and the Hollywood glitterati: if Brian and I relapse, the only thing likely to happen is for us to drop off the face of the blogosphere. If we get back on the wagon and begin writing about recovery again, we still enjoy the same virtual anonymity. No one is hounding us and our friends, acquaintances and business associates for information about our private lives (or for crotch shots), and very few people will notice. Even fewer would know the reason, although some might guess correctly.
Nonetheless, while I often write about my attendance at 12-step meetings and my program of recovery, I never mention organizations by name, thus keeping to the letter (if not the spirit) of the concept of anonymity.
That said, I think AA, NA and the other 12-step groups have proven themselves and are on solid ground, unlike their condition back when the traditions were written. It would be nearly impossible to damage their reputation severely at this point, as witnessed by the many disillusioned folks who seem to love to throw rocks at them — especially at their so-called “religious cult” aspects. Voices crying in the wilderness. The Twelve Steps are alive, well, and here to stay.
Bills last blog post..Step One – I am powerless over my family
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Article here that covers this in more detail.
Bills last blog post..Step One – I am powerless over my family
July 15th, 2008 at 12:23 am
Brian,
Congratulations on your sustained recovery. The purpose of the traditions, as they were laid out by the AA founders, was to maintain the unity of the group. Without the group, then there is no me and of course we cannot carry our message of hope to the still suffering alcoholic/addict. You sound like a typical self-centered alcoholic (I can relate), who thinks it is all about them. So, when you talk about anonymity, you might want to get some humility. After all, anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all of AA’s priciples!
October 30th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I have thought long and hard about this, and on the whole, I have to agree with you. I started my blog in prison, joined AA when I got out, and since my site has my last name in it, immediately confronted the issue of whether this was violating the 11th Tradition.
I take heart in “Our Public Relations policy…” I think this tradition is clear when anybody is purporting to represent A.A. as an organization, (I also maintain another blog/newsletter for a regional 12 step group-therein we maintain rigid anonymity) I believe at the level of a blog in which my (our your) last name doesn’t mean we “know” each other, talking freely about our recovery and the extraordinary benefits of AA constitutes attraction more than promotion. (Although I do shy away from discussing any specifics within meetings).
When Betty Ford was interviewed by Barbara Walters, she had the steps in the background. I think that was an extraordinary service. We need to let people know how we did it. Which doesn’t mean I get to say how YOU did it, but my anonymity or lack thereof is a matter of personal conscience. Great entry.
November 20th, 2008 at 7:10 am
I just found your blog. As a fellow Jew in recovery, I say kudos to you. I don't know if talking openly on your blog constitutes a violation of the 11th Tradition, but I for one am personally happy to have found this out.
Keep it, brother! We're with you!
December 31st, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Its a gray area for sure. BUT I don’t think the tradition of personal anonymity was written in the dark ages and out of step with its true purpose today:
I agree that if one is not a celebrity and slips its far easier to get back on the bandwagon. In fact the celebrity issue might be a key to this question.
An interesting article “Letter from West Hollywood: Special Treatment, the rise of luxury rehab” by Amanda Fortini was recently published in The New York Times on 12/1/08. The spotlight is on one Howard Samuels, who has broken his personal anonymity and just about every celebrity he treats at “The Wonderland”. Samuels doesn’t seem to mind that he is the rehab man of the stars. AAs in recovery in the entertainment business often point out that they are alcoholics. And Alcoholics love to be with celebrities –the stigma is gone. If Tatum O’Neal is suffering why can’t I? There are groups in Los Angeles which even organize themselves with huge parties and conventions, with speakers on speaker circuits across the nation that have their expenses paid when they travel abroad to speak. They may as well be celebrities because they are treated as one. We are surrounded by celebrities in the media and in consumer society its hard to count as just an ordinary garden variety drunk. Even in countries where AA has developed differently because of the culture, LA AAers in the entertainment capital make it there too. The LA “laughers” caused some concern in French AA, turning their shares into comic relief of standup and even laughing it up when others were sharing stories of personal tragedy. With ties to the entertainment industry recovery can be a big party –free movie and theater tickets, basketball games.
Why break personal anonymity? Why not celebrate sobriety in a 12 step meeting instead of on Fox News or a speaker circuit? The stigma is STILL there, that is why personal anonymity counts. Thats why principles are before personalities–hardly the dark ages. Its the group as a whole, its the group before the individual. Its the spotlight on the group recovery. Personal anonymity is hard to practice. A real ego crusher. Its hard to resist public gratification. Even why it is more so important to preserve personal anonymity. And to even bring it up , you can be accused of twisting the principles for personal gain. Far better be it that then personal gain by breaking personal anonymity.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:17 am
What is all this? Why is it so important to violate the 11th tradition. Your tone is dripping of arrogance for some reason. What gives? What studies are you talking about? Blog, web – its all a form of media. Why don't you out the people who you see in the rooms? Again, who is gonna stop you. Do whatever you want. In Athens, Greece there are many expats from England, Ireland and the US who are in AA. Many work in banking and other government controlled institutions. While attending meetings there I noticed how completely paranoid AA members were about their anonymity. They were literally sneaking into the meeting at noon time, looking over their shoulders and skulking along the sides of buildings in business suits. When I asked so long time members what this was about the said the Greek government would fire them if they found out they had a drinking problem, AA of not. Do you get it Mr. Cuban? Have some humility at long last sir. Move on to another area of your life and keep the dignity of your sobriety to yourself.
November 5th, 2009 at 12:35 am
That's not why we alcoholics are anonymous. When they published the big book, they decided to remain anonymous so that they would not be overwhelmed by people asking questions, etc.
November 5th, 2009 at 12:43 am
That makes no sense whatsoever. The policy of "attraction" is specifically geared towards people asking questions about the program as opposed to people promoting it. What you just described the quality of a cult, not AA.
November 25th, 2009 at 2:58 am
You hit it right on the head.
December 1st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Some of you need to read the books instead of spewing out your opinions.
11.) Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.
12.) And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of Anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.
These words were written after years of experience. If you look closely, you will see that humility seems to be the backbone of it all. While looking up the traditions (my book is in my car lol), I read a comment that really hit the nail on the head. I will quote her.
December 1st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
"The anonymity in tradition 12 [in my opinion] is not referring to use of my last name but rather to being anonymous as an "individual" in a "we" program. If I "become" the message instead of "carrying" the message, then my sobriety is at risk; and so is AA as a whole. I have seen that in action… guess what… that person is now painfully coming back. "
Much Love,
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:09 am
I respect your right to "out" yourself in any way you want… the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking, as you say. I have observed that people who use their last names (in meetings or in association with their AA membership when discussing it on TV, in the press, etc) often tend to sound as if they have the "answer", speaking as AA authorities… and be generally lacking in that most important quality, humility. Bill W himself suffered from this early on, if my reading of the literature is correct. I have a lot of respect for celebrity members (there are quite a few where I live) who choose to remain bozos on the bus with the rest of us… by only using their first name, even in meetings.
February 7th, 2010 at 7:50 am
When I got sober, I was terrified. I didn't want anyone to know I was going to AA. And I didn't want anyone in AA to quiz me about my job. (Do you know how many people in the rooms asked what I did for a living?) Primarily because I didn't want to deal with the added pressure. I already losing my mind. As for using AA in the media to push some agenda… It's about the we, not about the me. It has to be safe for everyone. When you have some douchebag showing up with a camera outside an AA meeting, that's just wrong. It's supposed to be a safe place where someone to go to get sober. So, I expect a blog like this from someone who has a year in sobriety. Typical angry, self-pitying, posturing crap. Believe me,, i was there. Then I did a 5th step. Good luck with making amends for this! Also, Cuban, you need to proofread your site.
February 7th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
If you had half a brain you would see I wrote that almost three years ago. As alcohol kills brain cells you are forgiven in your idiocy…
February 7th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
If you had half a brain you would see that this is Feb 2010-that was written almost 3 years ago. As we know that alcohol kills brain cells you are forgiven for your complete idiocy. That aside, I will out myself to the media, on my blog, to my dog, to your dog, whenever and wherever I please. What are you going to do about it. Not a damn thing except bitch in your angry self-hating pathetic AA Nazi life.. Enjoy…
June 2nd, 2010 at 12:25 am
This applies to me quite a bit, as someone who has a social network on sobriety I get alot of backlash from the old school AA telling me "This is ANONYMOUS". Fact of the matter is you can remain anonymous online and meet other's in AA, none of these sites dictate you HAVE to put in accurate information.
On the other hand, I could understand why saying "Your failure in AA could prevent another from seeking out sobriety" but how would they even know about AA if you never brought it up? They have to find out somehow!
June 5th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
In downtown Seattle, outside an AA meeting on the streets a stranger ask if a meeting was here.
I said "Yes," pointed the way in. He entered as I did too. The meeting open, I notice that I knew
the stranger form a local TV talk show. He was a local celberty. Some people reconize him in the
meetings. He never outed himself. He chose the high road of the 11th tradition. He was a nobody
outside the northwest. So he had nothing to gain by saying he one of us.
AA is world wide an seen at least as a help to society. Some might think it is cool to be in the programe.
Most who are inside AA depend on the program to stay sober, which is a fondation for living at a basic
level at the vary least. Lets remember, "principels before personality."
July 11th, 2010 at 8:04 pm
One of the more important reasons I've seen for anonymity is that once your out yourself as a member of the program, you then become a representative of AA (just like saying you believe in God will, unfortunately, allow others to see you as a representative of other Christians). Then you lash out with a rude comment such as this, and somebody else may then be afraid to go to meetings in case there is someone there who will snap at them, accusing them of having less than half a brain and calling them a complete idiot. I'm "out" to quite a few people in my own personal life, but even on my social networking page I discuss my sobriety without discussing my membership in AA. Everybody who knows me knows I no longer drink, but few actually know I'm in the program, unless they're in the program themselves. If anybody wants to ask me how I got sober I'll be sure to tell them, but until then, I'm going to respect the program that saved my life as well as its traditions.