Is the future of traditional print media hanging on the most basic and vital of human functions? Are the futures of The New York Times Company, The Tribune Compnay and McClatchy, hinging on an uptick in sales of Charmin Toilet Paper?
The toilet is the one place of solitude and self discovery that the information super-highway has yet to penetrate save the occasional toilet tweet, text or phone call for those of us anal enough to fear even the most fleeting loss of connectivity to the news of the moment. A place where the traditional old school newspaper and magazine dominates.
The average person spends 3-4 years of an average lifetime sitting on the toilet. How much of that time do we spend reading? What are we reading? In my house the only traditional print media that is read is done on the toilet. Right now in my bathroom, magazine holder there are the following publications:
1. Sunday Dallas Morning News. I only read the daily online. Never buy the daily print version.
2. The Wall Street Journal. I never access the online version. I only read the print on the can every morning and generally have it finished by the end of the day.( I work at home)
3. Time Magazine: The only time I read it is on the toilet. I subscribed specifically to be read there.
What’s the publication of choice when you take the throne? People? US? Redbook? Are you seeing a trend here? Can we monetize this? While the information highway of my laptop is instantaneous, if I have to choose between “poop or scoop” I choose poop and the time-delay of traditional toilet-paper enhanced media every time. So you do. Admit it! Newspapers and other struggling publications are failing to capitalize on this mandate. The mandate is such:
When given the choice of poop or scoop, people will choose the former every times and gravitate to traditional print media in the process. People also sit longer and hence read longer if the toilet papers is high quality. Partner with the Charmin’s, Scotts, and Cottonelles of the world. You have a a focused captive audience!
In the meantime, I will be waiting for delivery of my Charmin sponsored Wall Street Journal-FTE (Flushable Toilet Edition). Can’t wait too long.. gotta go…. gotta go!
Copyright 2009
Enjoy this piece? Be sure to join the Cuban Revolution Fan Club and/or subscribe to my newsletter to stay abreast of future posts and live celebrity interviews on The Revolution Rant
Comments
Powered by Facebook Comments
September 14th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Got to have a magazine or newspaper when I’m taking care of business in the john.
September 14th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Maybe if the newspaper/print media industry could figure out how to print their ‘news’ on toilet-paper, sales would increase and waste would decrease. Eco friendly media.
September 14th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
the issue with this is, what’s printed on the TP would have to be something that doesn’t date easily… like Emily Dickinson poems or something like that. And, if we are talking about printing on TP (I think you are), the contents would most likely turn out to be Snapple facts or Guinness world records rather than the WSJ. Most people would be disturbed that their TP had ink on it.
September 14th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Sorry, but my PDA is still most convenient for reading, even on the john. Why carry something else in, or leave something there, when my PDA is always in my pocket?
September 14th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
This must be a guy thing. Personally, I think of them as “bathtub” publications. If they’d only make them a wee bit more water resistant … or, better yet, have it so that the pages can be dissolved in the tub as you finish reading as aromatherapy.
I’ll take the Vanity Fair in Lavender, please.
September 14th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
How about adding an eletronic device, like a kindle type device, that could be added to the Swash: http://www.brondell.com/products/index.php.? It could help save some trees and you’d get the lastest info.