After 32 years of flying I had my first verbal confrontation with a fellow airplane passenger sitting next to me.  She accused me of being an “elbow assaulter” for  invading her seat space.  More specifically, my right elbow repeatedly made contact with her left shoulder

I was on my way back to DFW  from San Francisco after a terrible day in which I totally bombed a speaking engagement. It was the last flight out.  I admittedly was a little cranky.  The aircraft was a Boeing 737.  I was in window Seat 13A.   It’s a three seat row. All three were occupied.  If you have flown a 737 coach you know that it’s basically a flying bus with little leg or elbow room.  Add to the mix that I am 6’2  23o lbs and she was not a petite individual. That left about 1 inch max of shoulder room to maneuver around.  In that situation, it is extremely difficult to occasionally not make some type of body contact with the person sitting next to you unless you become a statute for the entire flight.  I was also attempting to use my laptop which was almost impossible because the guy in front of me reclined his seat into my groin.  To be clear, this was not a case of  my body spilling over into her seat.  She had simply taken control of the armrest to my right as she is entitled to do and had adjusted herself in a “sleeping position”.  She was not sitting upright in her seat.  It was  physically impossible for me to sit in a normal position and type or even adjust myself occasionally without my elbow occasionally touching the part of her shoulder that was on the armrest.  Sensing her annoyance, I made various maneuvers in my seat and tried to flatten myself against the bulkhead as much as humanly possible to give her as much room as possible while still being able to type.

After about the 3rd or 4th time I brushed up against her shoulder, she looked at me and firmly asked me to stay out of her seat. I calmly explained to her that I was as far up against the bulkhead as I could be. In lieu of sitting perfectly still the entire flight or in an awkward position there was nothing I could do.  Our bodies were inevitably going to make contact . That was not good enough for her.  She made it clear it was her seat, she had paid for it and I should cease my “elbow assault”.

The back and forth escalated to the point where I calmly but firmly told her that there was nothing I could do and she could either deal with it or call the flight attendant to be moved. I would have gladly moved but it was a full flight and there were only middle seats available. I was not going to give up my window seat to only find myself in a worse situation.   This was coach.  Space is tight.  Baby’s are going to cry.  There are going to be unwelcome smells.  People are going to recline their seat into your groin.  Shoulders are going to occasionally touch.   As I expected,  the flight attendants told her there was nothing they could do but move her to another available middle seat.  She was having none of that.  She had paid for her seat.  I was an unwelcome trespasser to be evicted by any legal or non-legal means.  It was that point the attendant began to feel my pain. I saw the slight eye roll.   A firmer tone took hold as she repeated told the passenger that  while I may be an “elbow assaulter”  it was not a capital offense.  The FBI and Homeland Security would not be called to the gate and I would not be given a parachute and ejected from the plane.  The passenger finally grudgingly got up, gave me a “f*ck you” glare and moved to another seat.

What is the proper etiquette here?  I am a big guy but not outside the norm of people who fly. I was not spilling into her physical seat space.  Ironically,  two seats up from me were two guys who REALLY had space issues.  They seemed to be getting along just fine. (see photo).  I frankly do not see anything I could do to appease her other than moving to a middle seat which I was not going to do or flatten myself against the bulkhead and sit perfectly still the entire flight.  To get some insight, I went to someone I know.  Flight attendant veteran  Heather Poole, who blogs about her flight experiences and allegedly has a book on the subject coming out.  In her blog “Middle Seat Etiquette”  she says:

• Leave the armrest for the middle seat passenger. The window seat passenger has the window, while the aisle seat passenger has the aisle, but the middle seat passenger has nothing, nada, zilch, so please, for the love of god, give the person in the middle seat something, anything, an armrest, please!
• Do not hit the middle seat passenger in the head with your newspaper, even when the middle seat passenger is asleep and you are fairly sure they will not feel it.
• Do not use the middle seat passenger’s tray table. Even if the middle seat passenger is not using it.
• Do not put your feet under the seat in front of the middle seat passenger, no matter how long your legs are, even if the middle seat passenger is short.
• Do not place your luggage underneath the seat in front of the middle seat passenger. The middle seat passenger has luggage, too.
• Do not bring aboard a pet, choose an aisle or window seat, and then expect to put the pet under the middle seat because it does not fit under your seat.
• Do not raise the armrest between you and the middle seat passenger, no matter how well you are getting along.
• Keep your hair away from the middle seat passenger, no matter how pretty or how manly it may be.
• Remember, middle seat passengers are people too!

What about being tagged as a  window seat “elbow assaulter”  when there is no place to put the elbow but at your side?  Heather? Help!

Stay tuned for episode two of “Airplane Armrest Wars”

Delonte West must not have been paying attention when the NBA players union began warning players by some reports up to four years ago, to forgo the swag  and extra Bentley in anticipation of the work stoppage that has paralyzed the NBA to date.  Despite earning 14 millions dollars during his NBA career, he is apparently unable to make ends meet.  He is now employed at Regency Furniture Showrooms, in order to “stay afloat during the lockout.”   He had also applied to Home Depot prior to accepting the Regency Position that probably pays no more than 10-15 dollars an hour.  Is Delonte the exception to the rule of players who actually listened and who had agents with balls enough to demand that they engage in sound financial planning at risk of losing a client?  We will not know until paychecks start being missedbut basic human psychology and previous experience says that the Home Depot ranks may well swell with high priced inventory stockers and price checkers if the NBA lockout does not resolve soon.  While Delonte’s situation is unique in that his criminal record prevents him from playing overseas it will prove to be very common in terms of players who are living paycheck to paycheck and need to feed the nut one way or another if they can’t land an overseas gig.  It’s not like this is a new phenomenon or there are no case studies for players to look at and take a serious view of their potential financial situations.

We all played our violins to death when we heard of Latrell Sprewell’s financial troubles. On Halloween 2004, Sprewell, who was in the final season of a $62-million five-year contract with the New York Knicks, said he was insulted by the Minnesota Timberwolve’s offer of a contract extension that was reportedly worth between $27 million and $30 million for three seasons. Sprewell stated, “I’ve got my family to feed.” That quote become a national moniker for the public perception of athletes as greedy, out of touch individuals. Apparently, Sprewell still can’t feed his family. His yacht was  repossessed and his home faced foreclosure. He also reportedly owes  $3.5 million in back income taxes to the state of Wisconsin.

While there is certainly the stereotype of the financially irresponsible NBA athlete, no professional sport is immune.

Let’s take a look at some high profile athlete financial sob stories over the years:

1. No one my age can forget Jack”The Ripper” Clark , star player for the Boston Red Sox who filed for bankruptcy in 1992 in the middle of his second year of a three-year, $8.7 million contract with Boston; he listed $6.7 million in debts. Jack was a master of financial planning and prudent asset acquisition. His bankruptcy petition listed assets such as 18 automobiles, including a 1990 Ferrari that cost $717,000 and three 1992 Mercedes Benz cars costing between $103,000 and $143,000. He owed money on 17 of the automobiles and was liable for about $400,000 in Federal and state taxes. He had also lost about $1 million in a drag-racing venture. Sounds like Jack would have been more at home in the NBA. You can read about it here

2. Johnny Unitas, Hall of Fame quarterback for the Baltimore Colts, filed for bankruptcy in 1991 citing numerous failed business ventures in his petition These failed bits included bowling alleys, land deals and restaurants. He filed forChapter 11 bankruptcy in 1991.

3. Mike Tyson The name speaks for itself. Mike’s bankruptcy was highly publicized. Despite earning hundreds of millions during his boxing career, Mike kept it simple. His bankruptcy petition simply stated: ” I am unable to pay my bills”. According to federal court records, his liabilities totaled about $27 million. You can read that story here.

4. Dorothy Hamill, the women’s figure-skating gold medalist in the 1976 Winter Games, filed for bankruptcy after a series of financial setbacks. Hamill said she has experienced financial setbacks as a result of poor financial investment advice and management.

5.  Derrick Coleman:  Coleman’send-game’ list of assets in his bankruptcy petition consisted of  a Seadoo watercraft, his NBA pension, 1957 Buick convertible, worth $20,000; a 1970 Chevrolet Nova, worth $5,000; and a 1997 Bentley convertible, valued at $50,000 and some fur coats.

6.   Antoine Walker: Despite earning a reported $110 million over the course of his 13-year NBA career, former player Antoine Walker is apparently broke.  In 2011 Walker pleaded guilty to one felony count of passing a bad check with regards to 770k in gambling debts.

These are just a few of many athletes’ tales of woe. It is not a phenomenon limited to professional sports — just ask M.C Hammer. Prior to his declaring bankruptcy, it was made public that his day to day living expenses far exceeded his income of $33 million. If I am going to veer off to celebrities, I certainly have to mention Kim Basinger and Michael Jackson and Nicholas Cage.

When the Toronto Star ran an article alleging that a shocking 60 percent of NBA athletes “go broke” five years after retiring, did we not all pull out that very tiny violin we have reserved for such occasions? The NBA players union and the NBA have both disputed that assertion. The article goes on to talk about all the people taking advantage of and “scamming” these athletes. While I have no doubt there is truth to this, I can also understand how such a generalization would make the NBA uncomfortable. It leaves you with the impression that 60 percent of NBA players are not only financially inept but also idiots in general. This is simply not true. While good business sense is often lacking, I view many of their mistakes as being more mistakes of trust, credibility and lack of life experience than anything else. Smart, busy people who can afford it, hire people with targeted expertise to help them. This allows them to focus on their expertise. Sometime mistakes are made and bad judgment is used in who we hire and hang out with. That is not unique to the NBA or professional sports. This happens to everyone. That is life. It happens all the time. It just does not make front page when we screw up. If there is any question at all as to how badly we as the general public screw up, just look at the personal bankruptcy filing statistics.

In order to get a perspective from the inside, I contacted Jordan Woy, a highly respected sports agent and a principal in the sports marketing/management firm of Schlegel Sports. Jordan has represented numerous high profile athletes

Here is what Jordon had to say:

I think there are several reasons why so many athletes “go broke”. First, whether it is a lottery winner, an athlete or a star entertainer, if they are not equipped with the knowledge on how to make and save money they are in trouble. When they didn’t earn it through disciplined business practices and they don’t have those skills they usually go through it quickly. Most lottery winners or athletes make a great deal of money in a short period of time. They start spending it on things that only go down in value (cars, jewelry, partying, entourage, etc) and start to evaporate the money they do have. They can carry this off until they stop earning big money. This is when the trouble starts. It is hard to believe that MC Hammer, Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield and now Ed McMahon are broke. These are people who earned hundreds of millions over time and it disappeared. Lavish spending and entourages were probably the downfall for the first three for sure.

Most athletes play for four to ten years if they are lucky. After they pay taxes (can be 40 to 50%) and agent fees and buy their first homes, cars, outfits, jewelry (plus, cars, clothes and jewelry for friends and family), they are left with very little. When they first “strike it rich” all of their longtime friends and family expect help. Most athletes feel obligated to help everyone out at first then they wise up. They also want to keep up with their teammates. If someone buys a Bentley, they have to buy one; if someone buys a $75,000 watch, they have to buy one to keep up the appearance. Then, of course, when the career ends and they are still living in a multi million dollar house, driving 3 expensive cars (and insurance), traveling in private planes and taking Limo’s when they go out on the town, reality sets in. The money dries up very quickly.

However, if athletes educate themselves, learn money management skills and make smart, safe investments along the way, they are usually in very good shape. After representing athletes for over 20 years, we call this our “life plan”. We take out clients on working vacations in the off season to places like Las Vegas, Cancun and on a cruise to the Bahamas to learn business networking. We have people from industries such as real estate, oil and gas, financial planning, credit repair, asset protection/estate planning, etc come to educate the players and their wives so they can learn about these business and also determine if they are interested in any of these industries for life after sports. One of the financial planners who comes always says most people die coming down from Mt. Everest not going up. The goal is for these athletes to get to their Mt. Everest AND to get down safely.

So, what do you think? Are the financial mistakes that athletes make any different than your mistakes or mine? They are certainly mistakes made with a higher downside. When we hear these stories are we just unable to comprehend that someone could have that much money and spend it all? Can we learn lessons on how to live our lives from their highly publicized financial gaffes? Do we even care at all?

With all due respect to Latrell Sprewell and Delonte West, we have our own families to feed

I recently decided to “unfollow” a lot of  Twitter accounts.  The reasons are simple.  My primary Twitter interests are sports, law and current events.  I want to pull those  news items and opinions out of my twitter-feed easily and without a lot of noise.  I have little interest in tweets about social media engagement, MLM marketing, branding etc.  You get the picture.  While I do have other interests,  I wanted at least 75 percent of my twitter feed to be  primarily subjects I can semi-intelligently engage on.  I love to engage. Finally, I did not wanted to be caught up in the ” How Do I Increase My Klout Score”  Twitter madness.  I will tweet what I find interesting.  I will re-tweet what I find interesting.  I will engage on subjects I find interesting.  If that interests you follow me.  If it does not interest you, why are you following me?  You shouldn’t.  I’m not going to follow you unless you are tweeting within my interest zone regardless of whether you follow me.   It’s not personal.  I repeat… It’s not personal.  This is Twitter.  We are not next door neighbors sharing a beer over our privacy fence.

With the above in mind, I took a hard look at my account. It was a social media mess of my own idiotic doing. I had over 40k followers and I was following accounts consisting of a bunch of stuff I did not care about born of the mindless following of nameless and faceless accounts.   I estimated that 75 percent of my feed was the field of social media related with tweeters on every possible permutation of social media, digital branding, networking and MLM marketing,   Nothing wrong with those endeavors. I simply have very limited interest in them.  I began to actually read some of the Twitter profiles on the accounts I was following.  I sifted through the game changers, gurus, mavens, change agents and ninjas.  I concluded that It was time to get back to basics. It was time to eliminate the noise and focus on getting to the content that makes Twitter fun for me.

The rampage began. I began unfollowing almost everyone making a living in the social media/digital arena unless I actually knew them or had a long standing twitter relationship with them.  I had other criteria for cutting people loose but this was the primary criteria.  I repeat,  it was nothing personal.  Many however, took it as a personal affront to their twitter existence.

It ranged from the 5th grade tweeting to me  “Oh Yea! I’m un-follwoing you back!  to “fuck off“.   Come on people, its only Twitter. You don’t know me.  I don’t know you.  There are real people out there you can tell to fuck off.  It’s NOT personal!

An NBA lockout is almost upon us.  Bottom line for the fans?  No basketball to entertain us.  Bottom line for the players?  No money to support lifestyles that in almost every case is well beyond yours, mine and every other working stiff.  NBA baby mamas across the country are getting nervous about their child support. We know that Lebron James will have more than enough put away to survive an extended NBA lockout but what about the average NBA Joe who has not been crowned king?

Almost half of all workers live paycheck to paycheck.  The NBA is no different. It may be even worse because many NBA players, like other major sport professional athletes,  generally come into their money at a young age without the maturity and life experience of making financial mistakes over the course of years and learning from them. Without life lessons, educated restraint and  people to trust, most will tend to spend to the level of their insolvency  It’s a biological drive. That might shock some.  The bottom line is that a person making  5 million a year without the benefit of the above will tend to spend all of it  and still cant make the rent when the music suddenly stops.  Between multiple mortgages, multiple expensive cars, multiple baby mamas and posses combined millions can dwindle quickly into the realm of dead ass broke.  Just ask Latrell Sprewell.

We all played our violins to death when we heard of Latrell Sprewell’s financial troubles. On Halloween 2004, Sprewell, who was in the final season of a $62-million five-year contract with the New York Knicks, said he was insulted by the Minnesota Timberwolve’s offer of a contract extension that was reportedly worth between $27 million and $30 million for three seasons. Sprewell stated, “I’ve got my family to feed.” That quote become a national moniker for the public perception of athletes as greedy, out of touch individuals. Apparently, Sprewell still can’t feed his family. His yacht was repossessed and two homes he owned went  into forclosure.

While there is certainly the stereotype of the financially irresponsible NBA athlete, no professional sport is immune.

Let’s take a look at some high profile athlete financial sob stories over the years:

1. No one my age can forget Jack”The Ripper” Clark , star player for the Boston Red Sox who filed for bankruptcy in 1992 in the middle of his second year of a three-year, $8.7 million contract with Boston; he listed $6.7 million in debts. Jack was a master of financial planning and prudent asset acquisition. His bankruptcy petition listed assets such as 18 automobiles, including a 1990 Ferrari that cost $717,000 and three 1992 Mercedes Benz cars costing between $103,000 and $143,000. He owed money on 17 of the automobiles and was liable for about $400,000 in Federal and state taxes. He had also lost about $1 million in a drag-racing venture. Sounds like Jack would have been more at home in the NBA. You can read about it here

2. Johnny Unitas, Hall of Fame quarterback for the Baltimore Colts, filed for bankruptcy in 1991 citing numerous failed business ventures in his petition These failed bits included bowling alleys, land deals and restaurants. He filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 1991.

3. Mike Tyson The name speaks for itself. Mike’s bankruptcy was highly publicized. Despite earning hundreds of millions during his boxing career, Mike kept it simple. His bankruptcy petition simply stated: ” I am unable to pay my bills”. According to federal court records, his liabilities totaled about $27 million. You can read that story here.

4. Dorothy Hamill, the women’s figure-skating gold medalist in the 1976 Winter Games, filed for bankruptcy after a series of financial setbacks. Hamill said she has experienced financial setbacks as a result of poor financial investment advice and management.

These are just a few of many athletes’ tales of woe. It is not a phenomenon limited to professional sports — just ask M.C Hammer. Prior to his declaring bankruptcy, it was made public that his day to day living expenses far exceeded his income of $33 million. If I am going to veer off to celebrities, I certainly have to mention Kim Basinger and Michael Jackson.

When the Toronto Star ran an article alleging that a shocking figure that 60 percent of NBA athletes “go broke” five years after retiring, did we not all pull out that very tiny violin we have reserved for such occasions?  While the NBA players union and the NBA have both disputed that assertion the point is made.  The article goes on to talk about all the people taking advantage of and “scamming” these athletes. While I have no doubt there is truth to this, I can also understand how such a generalization would make the NBA uncomfortable. It leaves you with the impression that 60 percent of NBA players are not only financially inept but also idiots in general. This is simply not true. While good business sense is often lacking, I view many of their mistakes as being more mistakes of trust, credibility and lack of life experience than anything else. Smart, busy people who can afford it, hire people with targeted expertise to help them. This allows them to focus on their expertise. Sometime mistakes are made and bad judgment is used in who we hire and hang out with. That is not unique to the NBA or professional sports. This happens to everyone. That is life. It happens all the time. It just does not make front page when we screw up. If there is any question at all as to how badly we as the general public screw up, just look at the personal bankruptcy filing statistics.

In order to get a perspective from the inside, I contacted Jordan Woy, a highly respected sports agent and a principal in the sports marketing/management firm of Schlegel Sports. Jordan has represented numerous high profile athletes

Here is what Jordon had to say:

I think there are several reasons why so many athletes “go broke”. First, whether it is a lottery winner, an athlete or a star entertainer, if they are not equipped with the knowledge on how to make and save money they are in trouble. When they didn’t earn it through disciplined business practices and they don’t have those skills they usually go through it quickly. Most lottery winners or athletes make a great deal of money in a short period of time. They start spending it on things that only go down in value (cars, jewelry, partying, entourage, etc) and start to evaporate the money they do have. They can carry this off until they stop earning big money. This is when the trouble starts. It is hard to believe that MC Hammer, Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield and now Ed McMahon are broke. These are people who earned hundreds of millions over time and it disappeared. Lavish spending and entourages were probably the downfall for the first three for sure.

Most athletes play for four to ten years if they are lucky. After they pay taxes (can be 40 to 50%) and agent fees and buy their first homes, cars, outfits, jewelry (plus, cars, clothes and jewelry for friends and family), they are left with very little. When they first “strike it rich” all of their longtime friends and family expect help. Most athletes feel obligated to help everyone out at first then they wise up. They also want to keep up with their teammates. If someone buys a Bentley, they have to buy one; if someone buys a $75,000 watch, they have to buy one to keep up the appearance. Then, of course, when the career ends and they are still living in a multi million dollar house, driving 3 expensive cars (and insurance), traveling in private planes and taking Limo’s when they go out on the town, reality sets in. The money dries up very quickly.

However, if athletes educate themselves, learn money management skills and make smart, safe investments along the way, they are usually in very good shape. After representing athletes for over 20 years, we call this our “life plan”. We take out clients on working vacations in the off season to places like Las Vegas, Cancun and on a cruise to the Bahamas to learn business networking. We have people from industries such as real estate, oil and gas, financial planning, credit repair, asset protection/estate planning, etc come to educate the players and their wives so they can learn about these business and also determine if they are interested in any of these industries for life after sports. One of the financial planners who comes always says most people die coming down from Mt. Everest not going up. The goal is for these athletes to get to their Mt. Everest AND to get down safely.

So, what do you think? Are the financial mistakes that athletes make any different than your mistakes or mine? They are certainly mistakes made with a higher downside.  When we hear these stories are we just unable to comprehend that someone could have that much money and spend it all? Can we learn lessons on how to live our lives from their highly publicized financial gaffes? Do we even care at all?

With all due respect to Latrell Sprewell and big time professional athletes,  we have our own families to feed…