I read an article about the recent launch of a web site  offering support and advice for men and teens with eating disorders.  A 23 year old named Sam Thomas developed the site  after developing bulimia as a teenager.  He stated that he  endured years of bullying at school as a result of his disease.  He related that one doctor even told him that there was nothing wrong with him as eating disorders only affect females.  The name of the web site is “Men Get Eating Disorders Too.”

I think this is a great idea.  I am right there with Sam.  I am acutely aware  that Men Do Get Eating Disorders Too.  I know this because for several years I suffered from Bulimia. I experienced the stigma, the unwillingness to tell anyone, the isolation, and the health effects.

I empathize with any male sufferer being too ashamed and embarrassed to seek treatment.  I went through a three year brutal battle with bulimia while a student at Penn State University.   If you think that it is a disease under-reported by men in the 21st century  try being a 21 year old male bulimia sufferer on a college campus of Forty-Thousand in 1981.

Treatment for an eating disorder is for the most part not going to be anything a male 18 year old freshman college student contemplates. I was not about to ask for medical or other help.  I did not even tell my family.   I went through several emotional battles within myself.  There is the overwhelming feeling of shame.  I would have rather told my family I wanted a sex change than I was throwing up after every meal.  You have no context for understanding what you are going through.  You believe that once  you are thin enough to have reached your goal all your social problems will be solved.  Unfortunately the mirror tells you that you are never thin enough.

There is no doubt that in the hot-bod, infinite image explosion,  G-Q generation we live in, men have become more  aggressive in trying to emulate the male model types they see in various types of media.  I never saw it that way.  In the pre-MTV and Directv world of my college days, you were simply not exposed to those types of images to any significant degree.  I equated being thinner with being more accepted and popular.  I was not comparing myself to television and other media images.  I was comparing myself to the people I saw around me on a daily basis.  My perception going through high school was that there were no fat popular kids.  I  was not a model.  I was just your average fat kid trying to fit in and wanting to be popular like the thin kids seemed to be.  I wanted that life.  I wanted any life but mine.  In order to help my weight along I decided to get into long distance running.  I eventually worked my way up to running  10 -20 miles a day, 7 days a week.  I would run 10 in the morning and the same in the evening. I was always training for one marathon or another. When the day was over I scarf down a 2lb bag of peanut M&Ms.  I would then head straight to my next best friend, the toilet, to puke it all up.  This behavior was repeated with pizza, fast food etc. There were days that between not eating, puking after I ate and running long distances I was too dehydrated and weak to even get out of bed.  No matter how much weight I lost or how thin I became I always saw the same person in the mirror.  It was some beastly kid who still needed to drop a few lbs that had no friends.

In the span of one year I went from 230 lbs to 165 lbs at 6′2.  As appealing as that may seem to some, it was a brutal, almost deadly ride that I would not wish on my worst enemy. In my mind being thinner  was the only possible route to social acceptance.  I was not trying to reach some unattainable model goal, I was simply trying to fit in.  The problem is that regardless of why you think you need to either starve yourself or binge and purge the reflection in the mirror never ever changes until you are dead.  About 10 percent of those suffering from Bulimia will ultimately die from the disease.

Fast forward to present day.  Today as I sit here writing this in at 220lbs in 2010.  I still hold the battle scars from my struggles over 25 years ago.  The mirror images fueling the disease also lead to other issues such as alcohol and steroid abuse.  I was able to beat the eating and binging part by replacing it with years of self-exploration and getting comfortable me.  The mental and mirror images will stay with me for life.

Copyright 2010

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I guess the guys at YDOP missed that lesson at Social Media Guru School.

YDOP advertises itself as a “Internet marketing firm that provides comprehensive Internet marketing strategies, solutions and tactical implementation to a variety of customers.” I see they represent PA Counseling Services.  Maybe they could work in trade for some counseling on history, maturity, tolerance and good judgment.

On  October 21, 2009 I spoke to students at Texas State University School of Journalism & Mass Communication as part of their  Mass Communications Week.

With more than 30,000 students, Texas State is the 5^th largest university in Texas and one of the 55 largest in the United States. Texas State University has more than 1,700 majors enrolled in our undergraduate and graduate programs — which makes the program one of the largest journalism and mass communication programs in the state of Texas – and the nation. Here is what the school has said about the presentation:

“Brian was one of the featured speakers at our annual Mass Communication Week at Texas State University. He was able to engage the audience and get them to think about the issue of hate speech on the Internet. A week later students were still debating the issue on what speech should and should not be protected. For that to happen with students means Brian’s talk really resonated with them. I’m sure he will get your audiences to think about the issue as well.“

As reported in the Dallas Morning News, a Dallas parent is challenging a Texas Law that protects parents from criminal prosecution when they provide pornography to their children.  She alleges that her ex-husband showed their children pornographic images depicting a threesome.

According to the Morning News report, the Dallas-area woman said her three grade-school-age daughters were living with their father earlier this year when he started drinking, woke two of them late at night and showed them porn on his computer. They later told a counselor, who alerted authorities.

If true, while this may be a crime if it was a non-parent, the father would be protected from prosecution under Texas Law.  The Randall Country District Attorney declined to prosecute the father stating that his hands were tied under the law that is currently in place.

“Texas law currently  prohibits people from providing children “harmful material” if it “appeals to the prurient interest” and is “utterly without redeeming social value for minors.” The law however includes a defense to prosecution for parents and guardians.”

Should the government enter our homes and tell us what we can and can not show our children even it it would be criminal outside the parent-child relationship?  Is there a compelling government interest to regulate this type of activity?  Does it become any less harmful because its done in the home?  The slope becomes slippery.

What about sex education?  Should the government be interfering with the educational values practiced within the home and telling parents what materials they can and can not use for sexual education.   What if the parents were using child pornography to teach their children?  That would not be protected.

From a Constitutional standpoint it will be very difficult to draft a statute that enters the home and does run  afoul of the 14th Amendment. This Amendment has routinely been cited to strike to down government attempts to regulate activity child-rearing activities within the home which might otherwise be criminal.

While emotions run high on these issue I do not think it is possible to craft a statute that will criminalize a parent showing what some may consider pornographic images to his/her child and also  pass constitutional muster without coming up with an objective standard.   IMHO “a legitimate educational purpose”  a standard proposed by some is too subjective and will fail constitutional scrutiny.

What do you think?  Is it ok to be a “Porno-Parent”?