What do you think of when you visualize your average Digg user? I visualize a late teen to twenty something geek glasses wearing, dateless, pimple popping nerd, barricaded in his room bedroom smoking a doobie while drinking a diet soft drink, farting on his cat and endlessly hitting the “refresh” key in the hopes of that one more elusive “Digg” that will take his story to the masses with his mother constantly calling upstairs to ask if he has found a job yet……

That is NOT a criticism of Digg users. It is more my taking a self inventory of my life and a warning to diggers that I am what you have to look forward to. A forty- something, Lasik vision enhanced dateless, pimple popping nerd with a bad back from sitting on his “computer ass” all day endlessly hitting the “refresh” key between sips of my favorite java in the hopes of that one more “Digg” that will take my story to the masses…

I am making up for lost “Digger Geek” time as I never got to be a true Digg Geek . Not only did Digg not exist in my true geek days but neither did personal computers or the internet…. How in the world did we all get by back then? If I didn’t have Digg now I would probably switch to massive heroin abuse….. Frankly, if I could stick my head in my computer terminal to get my hair cut, I would never leave the freaking house, Digging endlessly through time….

In the end we are all destined for “Digger Anonymous”. I can see it now…” my name is Brian and I am a Digging, nose picking geek”…. HELLO BRIAN!

Diggers are an interesting bunch…..

I frankly am a Digger that other Diggers love to hate. Why? Because I am a digging nose picking geek who often self promotes. This means I sometimes Digg my own original content posted on my own blog. As more than one Digger has so eloquently stated.. “Who gives a f**k was you think!” While I am actually proud of the fact that three original pieces I wrote went front page, I absolutely understand this philosophy.

The Digg philosophy is the only credible story is a story someone else wrote….

I have no problem with this. My content is not for everyone and may only have credibility to a limited few. I frankly think Bill O’reilly is a no credibility nose picking geek but hey, thats just me…. There are masses who think anything that comes out of his mouth should be a new paragraph in a history book. It is all in the eyes of the geek on the other end isn’t it? Credibility is judged by the masses. Just ask any bookie setting a line….

Even though it serves a legitimate “news distribution” purpose, I just can’t sit in front of my computer, diet coke and doobie in hand, endlessly digging articles across the internet… I would rather write original content offering my take on the news and digg that around the internet. I love to generate thought and discussion.

A perfect example of this is the groundbreaking scientific genetic animal cross-breeding story that broke the other day. Genetic scientists announced the creation of a whole new species of animal. They announced the creation of the “Chimpcat” A Chimpcat is apparently a cross between a chimpanzee and a house cat. It is furry, it can swing through trees and meows like a cat.

Now I could simply Digg this story in the hopes of accumulating thousands of Diggs and getting that elusive free set of steak knives I hear Digg awards monthly to the highest digger….. I however would rather write/blog my own opinion on the legal, medical ethics and social implications of the “Chimpcat”

I would rather write about my concern that the introduction of the Chimpcat into society will cause the entire public service infrastructure to collapse. Can you imagine a world where fire departments were endlessly called out on false “Chimpcats in trees” calls? There would be no time for legitimate fire calls. Cities would burn. Societies would collapse. Anarchy would ensue. Dogs and Chimpcats would be sleeping in the streets together….. Our worst nightmares would ensure…..

As the first person to pick up on and write about his insidious “Chimpcat conspiracy” don’t I have Digg credibility? Do I not now have a P.H.D in “chimpcatology” worthy of millions of Diggs?

GO CHIMPCAT GO!