Scanning the wall posts of my Facebook friends can be a pretty good gauge of what people are doing for fun. It is also a daily soap opera of Days Of Our Lives proportions. Relationship status updates that change faster than Lindsey Lohan’s sexual orientation. People hook-up and break-up without ever logging off of their Facebook account.
Doesn’t this pretty much sum up Generation Y relationships? For much of my Baby Boomer dating life we did not have cell phones. I had to ask for a home number. I took the risk of nosy parents, brothers and sisters answering the phone. Had to be on my game from minute one. How in the world did our parents get by without Facebook, texting and Twitter? God forbid we should actually have to look someone in the eye when asking them out or even worse, breaking up.
Now we are not even asking for phone numbers. We are asking for Facebook pages and Twitter user names. When we do ask for a number we do not call, we text. We are texting and tweeting our way to love and heartbreak. We are sending “Dear John Tweets” in 140 characters or less.
You would think the following text message exchange is right out of a Sex In The City episode. It is a real life exchange between two people I tried to hook up on a blind date. She lives in Manhattan and he is a very well known Hollywood actor. The back story to this exchange is that Monica and Alan had been having a torrid “text romance” but were unsuccessful in trying to hook up for dinner. They agreed to meet for a late coffee at Starbucks in Mid-Town.
Monica arrives on time but Trent is running late. Monica is waiting anxiously in anticipation of their first Starbucks meet. Trent finally texts her (some texts have been combined to save space).
(Trent) Give me Ten Minutes
(Monica) So, I gave you 20 mins. Haven’t heard from you. Guess your not going to show, good night.
(Trent) I’m in a cab NOW heading to the financial district just tell me the cross streets.
(Monica) You are too late, going home.
(Trent) OK but lets discuss it further when I get there.
(Monica) No. I am meeting a friend for a bite. Sorry. You should have communicated better. Next time.
(Trent) I ‘m almost there, I’ll join you and u’r friend, in fact I’ll buy you both dinner:o)
(Monica) No thank you
(Trent) Great! Which restaurant are we meeting at?
(Monica) Trent, I don’t need your charity. I need you to be on time. You missed that window and I have made other plans. We will have to get together another time.
(Trent) I took a cab all the way down here. It cost me a fortune. Can you recommend a nice restaurant I can have a meal at by myself? With all due respect there will not be another time.
(Monica) You are being ridiculous. You were 45 minutes late and I made plans. Its your own fault. Don’t take it out on me! Plus we were supposed to meet in your neighborhood not mine.
(Monica) If anything you should have apologized. I have had one hell of a day and do not deserve to be treated that way!
(Trent) Ur nuts. If we were going to meet in my neighborhood you would hadda traveled up here it would have taken at least a half hour, i was coming to u to make it easy. now I’m walking all the way back from wall street I’m at canal, again no disrespect , and in an apologetic tone, LOSE MY NUMBER!
(Trent) I left my wallet at my meeting and I used all my cash for the cab
(Monica) We talked about me coming to you. I am sorry you left your wallet at the restaurant. I’m not sure how all this is my fault. Why are you being so nasty to me? I didn’t do anything to you. Do you need me to bring you some money? I’m no sure what you want me to do here. By the way, if you don’t have your wallet how were you planning on buying my friend and me dinner?
(Trent) I’m not being nasty, just straightforward. I thought it would be better for u and considerate of me to come meet you downtown. Anyway Ive taken off my coat and tie, rolled up my suit jacket and am going to try to panhandle-i’m at the union sq. park. I just need to raise 2 bux for the train
(Trent) This is embarrassing. I hope ur satisfied!
(Trent) No. Please don’t bring any money. I’ve already gotten 30 cents-i’ll raise two bux in less than 20 minutes but thank for the gesture.
)
(Monica) Your choice. Stay away from the crack dealers.
(Trent) I need to put the Blackberry away or else they’ll think I as at one of those giant evil banks, and they won’t pity me.-they’ll spit on me! So I can’t continue to communicate with u…..
(Trent) No hard feelings-just not meant to be.
Love found, lost, texted and tweeted without ever putting the phone done. The epitome of a Dating 2.0 world. We are advertising to the entire social networking world that we are on the market. We have started and ended and relationships on these same sites and our iPhone Twitter applications. We used to break up in restaurants so there would not be a scene. Now we find out for the first time when we see our boyfriend or girlfriend’s Facebook relationship status suddenly set to “single and looking” We try to contact them(on Facebook of course) and find we are now “blocked”. In my day, if you met a girl in a bar and she thought you were a douchebag the number she gave you was actually the Rejection Hotline or Dominos Pizza.(I ate a lot of pizza)
It will not be long before we will be creating our twitter networks for the sole purpose of finding a mate. We will see tweets like ads we now see on billboard or the billboards themselves will tweet our message to the local masses.
“Millionaire Tweetgeek” user name bcuban seeks SATM(Single Attractive Tweet Mate). Tweet me your vitals and lets Tweetup!”
©2009 Brian Cuban
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March 20th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
I love how Trent goes from completely calm, to a bit excited, back to calm, to charming, to sarcastic & insistant, to respectfully annoyed, to disrespectfully ANNOYED, to self-justifying, to joking, to accepting – all in a text message dialogue . . . i stay away from text confrontation. A tone of voice can do wonders.
March 20th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I don't believe you ate a lot of pizza! This is such a cute blog post. You are a very good writer. I really enjoy your humor. Keep going!
March 20th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
That's a pretty amazing text conversation. Kinda pitiful, really–The ME generation lost in cyberspace.
March 21st, 2009 at 7:08 am
so true, brian!
i was "dumped" (only after a couple of dates) last summer when he sent me a text asking what i was doing… i said i was at a movie with bobbie — didn't think to mention bobbie is a "she" — mouth dropped, i thanked my lucky stars for the early heads up and likened it to the modern version of the sienfeld episode where the break-up was on a sticky note! — cute article…
March 22nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Ah, sad, well done
Sheri