Being an attorney, I have an attraction to movies that revolve around lawyers or courtrooms. It is often entertaining to watch how the realities of litigation and law are blurred, butchered and disregarded altogether in the name of entertainment or dramatic license. I previously wrote a blog on my list of great courtroom flicks. That was easy. It is much easier to agree on what constitutes good art than bad art. When a movie is bad you try to forget it. Some movies are so bad as to become “cult classics”. Bad art has become an art form in itself.

Here is my list of bad courtroom movies. They are nonredeemable in areas of legal reality, legal form and suspension of disbelief. I say this understanding that no one sets out to make a bad movie. Some of these movies are entertaining as a whole but sub standard from a courtroom perspective.

This is No 1. on my list as the worst courtroom movie of all time. Start with the unbelievable story line of a sitting juror helping a public defender solve a case. Move on to completely moronic courtroom dialogue from Cher. She sounds like she never finished high school let alone law school. End with a judge who murders people to protect a biased ruling in case. Throw in Liam Neesom as a wrongly accused homeless mute. His entire dialogue is about 10 grunts. He probably rehearsed for this during sex with his wife. You need more than suspension of disbelieve to enjoy this movie. You need to be on LSD. This movie has no courtroom validity, terrible acting and a ludicrous story line. Suspect is hands down the worst courtroom movie of all time. A death sentence for Suspect.

Body of Evidence

If you have never seen a lawyer give someone a handjob in an elevator this is the movie to see.(video below) It will probably achieve cult status for that scene alone. This movie was so bad I could barely sit through it and I was on my couch. Madonna should have been convicted of public lewdness for making people pay hard earned money to see her naked in this clunker. I laughed every time she opened her mouth and it was not a comedy. She is a terrible actor. The film was so bad that the author, Patricia Cornwell, attempted to get all reference to the book removed from the credits. This movie has an overused story line, no courtroom validity and terrible acting. I find Body Of Evidence guilty of Indecent Exposure.

The Jagged Edge

This is not a terrible courtroom movie. Jeff Bridges saves it from being a complete mistrial. There is no doubt attorneys have had sexual relationships with their client during the course of case. The character played by Glenn Close does not seem to have a care in the world about the possibility of disbarment while she sleeps with her client in the middle of his murder trial. He is on trial for the brutal killing of his wife. Her character has not practiced criminal law in years. Her firm is going to let her handle a high profile murder case? This movie has decent acting but no courtroom validity. Check this flick out to see Glenn Close in court in a dress so tight that the judge never looks at the defendant or the other attorney….

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Find Me Guilty:

Based on the true story of Jack DiNorscio, a mobster who defended himself in court for what would be the longest mafia trial in U.S. history. I am not a huge fan of Vin Diesel. I liked him in Saving Private Ryan and Boiler Room and not much else. He does ok here. He could play the role of pretty much any mobster. He has that look. The movie itself is tedious and boring. It should have been cut by 30 minutes or done as a television mini-series. I know some critics liked it but I felt like I was reading a book. Apparently the general public found this movie tedious and boring as well. It made 1.1 million dollars on a 13 million budget. There are numerous books written on this trial. Go that direction instead of the movie

The Devil’s Advocate:

I am not sure this is even a courtroom movie. I am including it because a great deal of the movie does revolve around courtroom dialogue. The courtroom scenes are so ludicrous as to be comical. Are they supposed to be comical? The counter argument is that the courtroom scenes are structured to give context to the overall plot which is that the Devil is the father of the character played by Keanu Reeves. Could they have not made the the legal aspect even a little believable? I understand that this movie did great at the box office and has an entertaining premise. It is still a stinker legally speaking.

Runaway Jury

I view the book as one of John Grisham’s weakest efforts. Translating it into a watchable movie was an uphill battle. The problem with this movie is that all of the standard Grisham plot twists and sub plots that work on a decent level in the book have a completely artificial feel. It tries to move in so many different directions so frantically that none of it works. Is this supposed to be a study in jury dynamics? If you are looking for that watch Twelve Angry Men. This movie has no idea what it wants to be. The dialogue between the judge and jurors is ridiculous.(see video) I would not even recommend the Grisham book. Runaway from this movie.

High Crimes

The movie starts out with with a fun premise. A military wife(Ashley Judd) and lawyer whose husband(James Caviezel) is arrested for war crimes. The problem is that she never even knew he was in the military. The writers should have just run with that. The movie morphs into an absurd military courtroom drama. The courtroom dialogue rivals Suspect. We are supposed to suspend our disbelief that that the wife who is supposed to be a seasoned criminal attorney would actually be stupid enough to represent her husband who is facing the death penalty. I love Morgan Freeman as an actor but he is terrible in this movie. His performance feels as if he took the role because he had nothing better to do. High Crimes is guilty of High Treason.

True Believer

This is a great drama but a terrible courtroom flick. It is based on the true story of Chol Soo, a Korean immigrant wrongfully convicted for the 1973 killing of Yip Yee Tak, a San Francisco Chinatown gang leader and sentenced to life in prison. While in prison, he was sentenced to death for the self-defense killing of another prisoner. The part of the movie dealing with the actual incident is great and worth seeing. The movie falls off the believability cliff when for dramatic purposes, it adds a bizarre conspiracy culminating in a an equally bizarre closing argument and courtroom confession by the District Attorney of San Francisco . James Woods gives a great performance as a disillusioned former civil rights attorney who attempts to expose the conspiracy. This movie works wonderfully right up until the courtroom scenes. The zany, unrealistic dialogue and courtroom maneuvers propel this movie right into the crappy courtroom flick zone. You actually have to see it to be a “True Believer” in how idiotic the these scenes are. See the movie but try not to laugh to hard at the courtroom antics.

The Juror

Demi Moore was better in Striptease. What does that tell you?

Commentary and additions to this list are welcome. What‘s on your list of Courtroom Stinkers.