My 30 year high school reunion is coming. I can not stop it.  It is barreling down  upon me with the hurricane force of times past, forgotten memories and the realization that my life has taken more twists and turns than I ever could have envisioned as a brutally shy, overweight isolated underachiever,walking out the doors of Mt Lebanon Sr. High School for the last time in 1979.  At that time Mt Lebanon was one of the larger high schools in the state of Pennsylvania. My graduating class was in the area of 1000.

While I did have a small group of friends in high school, I  was not part of any of the “cool” popular groups that I so desperately wanted to be included.  I would compare myself to the overweight version of the characters played by Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club.  I kept to myself and ran with  people who were more like me and tended to keep to themselves. We did not go to the Mt Lebanon Blue Devil Football games.  We never attended the jock parties or the popular kid house parties.  We just drifted through our 4 years and went our separate ways.  I did not have a date in high school and of course did not attend my high school prom.  I was not rejected by anyone. I was simply to shy and withdrawn to ask anyone.  I would not say I was “disliked” in high school. I was so withdrawn that outside of my small group I did not interact with anyone enough to know who liked or disliked me.  The bottom line was that as I remember it 30 years later, my four years at Mt. Lebanon Sr. High were a blur of withdrawn indifference.  I know there are memories buried deep within me.  I know there were good times.  It would be great to grab some of them.  As I view the conversations taking place about times past on the newly formed Mt. Lebanon High School 30 Year Reunion site, I have nothing to offer.

I  did attend my 20 year reunion.  It was an event that I really looked forward to.  Not because I wanted to catch up with a anyone or relive high school glory years past. There were none for me to  reminisce over.  I went because I was at a good time in my life where in my mind the popularity tables had turned.  I was now in great shape and a marathon runner. I considered myself much better looking than in high school(at least in my mind).  The reunion also happened to take place in June 1999.  It was a time my name was prominent in the Pittsburgh media. I  had been in town for the previous month with my brother attempting to negotiate a purchase of the Pittsburgh Penguins hockey club.  The Penguins had declared bankruptcy and were in danger of leaving Pittsburgh. We are trying to keep that from happening.   Much more important than anything going on with a potential purchase of the the team was the fact that in my mind I had achieved the popularity that I had always dreamed about in high school and had the  perfect moment in history to shove it in the face of every pretty girl and popular guy that I felt had ignored me. Of course it was all in my head.  No one in high school had wronged me.  I was just too shy and withdrawn to make myself known to anyone. My much anticipated “in your face” never materialized.  I had matured too much for even my own fantasies of Pretty In Pink Duckman retribution. I was still the same shy high school kid.  I’m not sure what I was expecting to feel but I never felt it.  I caught up with some people but for the most part kept to myself.  My most poignant memory from that reunion was being very grateful I did not get a DWI on the way home as I pulled into my parent’s driveway.  I do not expect that to be repeated at the 30th. I have not had a drink in two years.

To be continued.