I read an article entitled “Male Eating Disorder Rise Blamed On Social Pressure”  The article in part states:

“Anorexia may have traditionally been considered to be a “women’s disease” but dramatic increases in the number of male sufferers are being seen by eating disorder experts.  Men now account for between 5 and 10 per cent of all eating disorder sufferers.”  Bulimia, like anorexia, is an eating disorder traditionally associated with women.

Some of the physical problems associated with the Bulimia are:

• Tooth erosion, cavities, and gum problems
• Water retention, swelling, and abdominal bloating
• Acute stomach distress
• Fluid loss with low potassium levels (due to excessive vomiting or laxative use; can lead to extreme weakness, near paralysis, or lethal heart rhythms)
• Irregular periods
• Swallowing problems and esophagus damage
• It is estimated that 10 percent of those suffering from bulimia will die if it goes untreated.

I empathize with any male sufferer being too ashamed and embarrassed to seek treatment.  I went through a three year brutal battle with the disease during my sophomore through senior  years as a student at Penn State University.  If you think that it is a disease under-reported by men in the 21st century  try being a 21 year old male bulimia sufferer on a college campus of Forty-Thousand in 1981.  Its a lonely and isolating affliction.

“One consultant has revealed that for the first time, he has seen more male anorexia referrals than females”  He believed the increase was due to greater social pressure on men to look good.”

A referral to treatment is for the most part not going to be anything a male 18 year old freshman in college thinks about.  I did not even tell my family. I was not about to ask for medical or other help.  Even with the rising report rates this is still very common for male sufferers of the disease.  I went through several emotional battles within myself. There is the overwhelming feeling of shame.  I would have rather told my family I wanted a sex change than I was throwing up after every meal.  You have no context for understanding  what you are going through.  You truly believe that once  you are thin enough to have reached your goal all your social problems will be solved.  You are never thin enough.

The article states that men are becoming more like women in trying to emulate the male model types they see in the magazine.  I never saw it that way.  In the pre-MTV and DIRECTV world of my college days, you were simply not exposed to those types of images to any significant degree. I equated being thinner with being more accepted and popular. I was not comparing myself to television and other media images. I was comparing myself to the people I saw around me on a daily basis. My perception going through high school was that there were no fat popular kids and if there happened to be one in the cool crowd they were always the class clowns. I was too introverted for that. I  was not a model. I was just your average fat kid trying to fit in and wanting to be popular like the thin kids seemed to be. I wanted that life. I wanted any life but mine.  I In order to help my weight along I decided to get into long distance running.  I eventually worked my way up to running  10 -20 miles a day, 7 days a week.  I would run 10 in the morning and the same in the evening. I was always training for one marathon or another. When the day was over I scarf down a 2lb bag of peanut M&Ms.  I would then head straight to my next best friend, the toilet, to puke it all up.  This behavior was repeated with pizza, fast food etc. There were days that between not eating, puking after I ate and running long distances I was too dehydrated and weak to even get out of bed.  No matter how much weight I lost or how thin I became I always saw the same person in the mirror.  It was some beastly kid who still needed to drop a few lbs that had no friends.( I did have friends but was pretty much a loner regardless)

In the span of one year I went from 230 lbs to 165 lbs at 6′2.  As appealing as that may seem to some, it was a brutal, almost deadly ride that I would not wish on my worst enemy. In my mind being thinner  was the only possible route to social acceptance.  I was not trying to reach some unattainable model goal, I was simply trying to fit in.  The problem is that regardless of why you think you need to either starve yourself or binge and purge the reflection in the mirror never ever changes until you are dead.

Fast forward to present day.  Today as I sit here writing this in at 230lbs in 2008 I still hold the battle scars from my struggles over 25 years ago.  While I was able to beat the eating and binging part by replacing it with healthier obsessions such as running and weightlifting, the mental and mirror images stay with you for life.

At My Thinnest 1982-165lbs

2008-230lbs