TMZ (Alaska)  It what has been termed the most shocking development to date in the  Republican Vice Presidential nomination of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and possibly in human history  “The Thirty Mile Zone”(TMZ) has learned that Palin will issue a statement admitting that her newborn baby is not hers.   She will reveal that approximately 20 years ago and shortly after winning the Ms. Wasilla beauty contest she was abducted by aliens and beamed up to their ship.  She underwent medical examination and was  forced to undergo an “alien marriage” to a lizard like creature that has taken human shape in the form of her  husband Todd.  She claims Todd was her high school sweetheart but an exhaustive records search turned up no evidence that he ever attended high school.  A long time Wasilla resident who wished to remain anonymous stated:

“Neither I nor anyone I know had ever seen Todd before they started dating. It was if he had dropped out of the sky.  I do remember that he always had very bad breath.”

Palin will  admit that these aliens are “asexual”  and not capable of reproduction as we currently understand the process.   She has undergone artificial “alien insemination” in a secret lab at Area 51 for the last twenty years in order to maintain the appearance of a normal life. These insemination procedures  often took place with President George Bush and Presidential Candidate John McCain in attendance. Palin also claims that  she has concrete evidence that Presidential Candidate Barack Obama and wife Michelle are also not of this earth. They are members of an alien race  she called “Obamaroids”.  These Obamaroids have taken up positions in all levels of government with the intent of mind control enslavement of the human race.  Palin pointed to the fact that Obama’s biggest financial contributor is the multi-billion dollar conglomerate Manchurian Global. Manchurian has been dogged by rumors for decades that they have attempted to place people they control in various levels of government.

Palin alleges that for the past 3 years there have been breaches of United States airspace by extra-terrestrial crafts which have deposited millions of undetected “pods” hidden in rural farm fields and uninhabited terrain in both the United States, Canada. After a three week “gestation” period, these pods hatch the lizard-like Obamaroid creatures. When fully developed they appear completely human to the naked eye and communicate both verbally, telepathically along with mind control capabilities.

Rumor has it that President Bush will shortly issue an executive order extending the Military Commissions Act of 2006 to extra-terrestrials.  He will then declare  Barrack and Michelle Obama “enemy combatants and have them transferred to  specially fortified holding cell in Guantanamo Bay.  This will effectively end Obama’s presidential bid and hand the election to the McCain/Palin ticket. Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama had little to say when briefed on these developments but a large bottle of Scope mouthwash was conspicuously at his side.

Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain stated that he was ready to kick ass and chew bubble gum and he was all out of bubble gum.  He also stated that he was ready to “re-up” for military service and felt confident that he could be brought up to speed quickly on the new military fighter jets. When asked if his age would prevent him from military service, McCain stated that he had just watched the movie Independence Day and if Randy Quaid could save the world from aliens, he should get his shot.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this TMZ  special report entitled  Aliens At The Gates!