Tag Archive | "barack obama"

I Voted For John McCain

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I Voted For John McCain


I voted for John McCain.  Not because  I did not think Barack Obama could run our country but because I really did not know Barack Obama. I could not get a good feel for what his foreign policy was. That worried me. I was not concerned about his economic policies (save his health insurance proposals which I still feel will close many a small business if implemented as stated). I frankly did not think either he or John McCain would have a significant impact on the economy over the next four years.  New ideas, invention and the entrepreneurial spirit will drive economic change, not vague policies and tax base shifts.  I was however  worried about and still am concerned about his foreign policy.  A lot has been written in the  Jewish community that his is no friend of Israel.  Not because of any animus towards Israel or Jews but because of a rhetorically soft approach to enemies of the United States who are also enemies of Israel.  This is something that concerned me. I knew what John McCain’s Middle East policies were. I was comfortable with them.

John McCain will not be our next President.  The rhetoric is for the history books.  I am ready to give Barack Obama the chance to show that he will continue strong U.S support of Israel’s security and borders as well as all other foreign allies we have long vowed to support in time of need in addition to defending our country against enemies foreign and domestic.  All Jews and Americans everywhere should give him that chance as well.

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Sarah Palin: “I Was Abducted By Aliens!”

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Sarah Palin: “I Was Abducted By Aliens!”


TMZ (Alaska)  It what has been termed the most shocking development to date in the  Republican Vice Presidential nomination of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and possibly in human history  “The Thirty Mile Zone”(TMZ) has learned that Palin will issue a statement admitting that her newborn baby is not hers.   She will reveal that approximately 20 years ago and shortly after winning the Ms. Wasilla beauty contest she was abducted by aliens and beamed up to their ship.  She underwent medical examination and was  forced to undergo an “alien marriage” to a lizard like creature that has taken human shape in the form of her  husband Todd.  She claims Todd was her high school sweetheart but an exhaustive records search turned up no evidence that he ever attended high school.  A long time Wasilla resident who wished to remain anonymous stated:

“Neither I nor anyone I know had ever seen Todd before they started dating. It was if he had dropped out of the sky.  I do remember that he always had very bad breath.”

Palin will  admit that these aliens are “asexual”  and not capable of reproduction as we currently understand the process.   She has undergone artificial “alien insemination” in a secret lab at Area 51 for the last twenty years in order to maintain the appearance of a normal life. These insemination procedures  often took place with President George Bush and Presidential Candidate John McCain in attendance. Palin also claims that  she has concrete evidence that Presidential Candidate Barack Obama and wife Michelle are also not of this earth. They are members of an alien race  she called “Obamaroids”.  These Obamaroids have taken up positions in all levels of government with the intent of mind control enslavement of the human race.  Palin pointed to the fact that Obama’s biggest financial contributor is the multi-billion dollar conglomerate Manchurian Global. Manchurian has been dogged by rumors for decades that they have attempted to place people they control in various levels of government.

Palin alleges that for the past 3 years there have been breaches of United States airspace by extra-terrestrial crafts which have deposited millions of undetected “pods” hidden in rural farm fields and uninhabited terrain in both the United States, Canada. After a three week “gestation” period, these pods hatch the lizard-like Obamaroid creatures. When fully developed they appear completely human to the naked eye and communicate both verbally, telepathically along with mind control capabilities.

Rumor has it that President Bush will shortly issue an executive order extending the Military Commissions Act of 2006 to extra-terrestrials.  He will then declare  Barrack and Michelle Obama “enemy combatants and have them transferred to  specially fortified holding cell in Guantanamo Bay.  This will effectively end Obama’s presidential bid and hand the election to the McCain/Palin ticket. Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama had little to say when briefed on these developments but a large bottle of Scope mouthwash was conspicuously at his side.

Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain stated that he was ready to kick ass and chew bubble gum and he was all out of bubble gum.  He also stated that he was ready to “re-up” for military service and felt confident that he could be brought up to speed quickly on the new military fighter jets. When asked if his age would prevent him from military service, McCain stated that he had just watched the movie Independence Day and if Randy Quaid could save the world from aliens, he should get his shot.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this TMZ  special report entitled  Aliens At The Gates!

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Obamaroid Invasion!

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Obamaroid Invasion!


(WASHINGTON) CNN has learned that President George W. Bush will announce what he termed a “historic news conference”. Press Secretary Dana Perino stated that the announcement would be of unprecedented scientific and political significance. While the administration has been tight lipped on any further details, CNN has been able to obtain certain key details and the attached photos taken with a cell phone camera smuggled into Area 51. The photos are both stunning and frightening in their national and world significance.

CNN has has been told that an announcement will be made that the question of whether we are alone in the universe has been answered. The answer will pose a significant threat to national and world security. President Bush is considering a complete recall of the National Guard from the Middle East. An emergency session of Congress has been convened to consider reinstating the draft to deal with this galactic threat.

It appears that for the past 3 years there have been breaches of United States airspace by extra-terrestrial crafts which have deposited millions of undetected “pods” hidden in rural farm fields and uninhabited terrain in both the United States, Canada. After a three week “gestation” period, these pods have hatched humanoid creatures which the Bush administration as termed “OBOMAROIDS”.

CNN has learned that these “OBAMAROIDS” when fully developed appear completely human to the naked eye and communicate both verbally, telepathically along with mind control capabilities. These OBAMAROIDS were first detected through a mysterious signal that seemed to be emanating from Obama Girls videos on YouTube.

A team of decryption specialists at MIT have been able to determine that the source of the signal. It is a previously undetected alien satellite of unknown origin orbiting the earth. While the meaning of the signals are still unknown, it has been determined that part of the signal transmits the message: “I am John McCain, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Catch Up” It has also been determined though brain scans that there is a definite mind control component to the signal. It is unknown how long this signal has been transmitted and how many people have been infected.

President Bush will issue an executive order tommorow extending the Military Commissions Act of 2006 to extra-terrestrials. He will then declare the Obama girls “enemy combatants”. They have already been arrested by the FBI and are being held in a specially fortified holding cell in Guantanamo Bay. This cell is designed to prevent any type of signals going in or out.

Scientists from all over the world have alleged come together at Area 51 in New Mexico to hopefully determine the extent of the invasion and whether the signal has affected the internet. Specially designed sunglasses are being developed that would be able to spot these OBAMAROIDS in their alien form. One MIT scientist speaking on condition of anonymity due to national security concerns stated when seen in their alien form , these OBMAROIDS were ugly, “lizard like” creatures.

Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama had little to say when briefed on these developments. He was overhead on a “hot mike” commenting that he had purchased new designer sunglasses for everyone on his staff.

Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain stated that he was ready to battle the OBAMAROIDS wherever they were on land and sea. He also stated that he was ready to “re-up” for military service and felt confident that he could be brought up to speed quickly on the new military fighter jets. When asked if his age would prevent him from military service, McCain stated that he had just watched the movie Independence Day and if Randy Quaid could save the world from aliens, he should get his shot.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this special CNN special report entitled ATTACK OF THE OBAMAROIDS!

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A VOTE AND A CUP OF COFFEE


The voting scandal of the 2000 Presidential elections accomplished two things: 1) It allowed President George Bush Jr. to win his term by the skin of his teeth, 2) it prompted the passing of the Help America Vote Act of 2002 which allowed massive appropriations for upgrading voting technology. Well it did three things. It also allowed Kathryn Harris , a bigoted, anti-Semitic left wing zealot to get attention she didn’t deserve and help boost her political aspirations but that’s for another blog. (I did hear that she recently secretly married Mel Gibson after meeting him at a Holocaust denier’s symposium.From 2003-present over billion dollars has been spent on upgrading voting technology. (I mused that it clearly had not been spent in my prescient as I punched my cardboard ballot in the most recent primary….)

What have the states as the recipients of these funds and we as the voters looking for something better and more user friendly gotten to show for it? NADA, ZIPPO, ZILCH! Well that’s not really fair. In the upcoming general election, it is estimated that over 50 percent of all voters will get to use voting machines that are a cross between digital slot machines and atms. No more hole punching lever pulling. I guess the future is now!!!

It also sounds great in theory but every time you go digital, you create a whole new cottage revenue stream for the hacking industry. You know, this is all great and hopefully it will plug the problems that allowed George to be re-elected in 2000.

I frankly couldn’t care less about this apparent leap in technology. What am I waiting for? I am waiting for that Tuesday after the first Monday in November where I can wake, up head down to the local 7-11 , get my cup of coffee, get my powerbar, head over to the all purpose machine, take out a 100 bucks, buy a roll of stamps, high speed download the latest blockbuster to my iPod, check my outstanding arrest warrants.

Maybe our next big appropriation should be to educate the states of Florida and Michigan in how to hold a primary that doesn’t disenfranchise their voters…..

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