(WASHINGTON) CNN has learned that President George W. Bush will announce what he termed a “historic news conference”. Press Secretary Dana Perino stated that the announcement would be of unprecedented scientific and political significance. While the administration has been tight lipped on any further details, CNN has been able to obtain certain key details and the attached photos taken with a cell phone camera smuggled into Area 51. The photos are both stunning and frightening in their national and world significance.
CNN has has been told that an announcement will be made that the question of whether we are alone in the universe has been answered. The answer will pose a significant threat to national and world security. President Bush is considering a complete recall of the National Guard from the Middle East. An emergency session of Congress has been convened to consider reinstating the draft to deal with this galactic threat.
It appears that for the past 3 years there have been breaches of United States airspace by extra-terrestrial crafts which have deposited millions of undetected “pods” hidden in rural farm fields and uninhabited terrain in both the United States, Canada. After a three week “gestation” period, these pods have hatched humanoid creatures which the Bush administration as termed “OBOMAROIDS”.
CNN has learned that these “OBAMAROIDS” when fully developed appear completely human to the naked eye and communicate both verbally, telepathically along with mind control capabilities. These OBAMAROIDS were first detected through a mysterious signal that seemed to be emanating from Obama Girls videos on YouTube.
A team of decryption specialists at MIT have been able to determine that the source of the signal. It is a previously undetected alien satellite of unknown origin orbiting the earth. While the meaning of the signals are still unknown, it has been determined that part of the signal transmits the message: “I am John McCain, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Catch Up” It has also been determined though brain scans that there is a definite mind control component to the signal. It is unknown how long this signal has been transmitted and how many people have been infected.
President Bush will issue an executive order tommorow extending the Military Commissions Act of 2006 to extra-terrestrials. He will then declare the Obama girls “enemy combatants”. They have already been arrested by the FBI and are being held in a specially fortified holding cell in Guantanamo Bay. This cell is designed to prevent any type of signals going in or out.
Scientists from all over the world have alleged come together at Area 51 in New Mexico to hopefully determine the extent of the invasion and whether the signal has affected the internet. Specially designed sunglasses are being developed that would be able to spot these OBAMAROIDS in their alien form. One MIT scientist speaking on condition of anonymity due to national security concerns stated when seen in their alien form , these OBMAROIDS were ugly, “lizard like” creatures.
Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama had little to say when briefed on these developments. He was overhead on a “hot mike” commenting that he had purchased new designer sunglasses for everyone on his staff.
Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain stated that he was ready to battle the OBAMAROIDS wherever they were on land and sea. He also stated that he was ready to “re-up” for military service and felt confident that he could be brought up to speed quickly on the new military fighter jets. When asked if his age would prevent him from military service, McCain stated that he had just watched the movie Independence Day and if Randy Quaid could save the world from aliens, he should get his shot.
Stay tuned for part 2 of this special CNN special report entitled ATTACK OF THE OBAMAROIDS!