So the three major candidate’s passport files have been “breached.”
I love that word ‘breached” A very scary word right up there with leeches and bedbugs…. A word so scary that I hear there is legislation in the works to make it a crime to scream “BREACH!” In any federal government meeting…… A word that unites conspiracy theorists worldwide. So when the CNN Breaking News blurb shoots across my Blackberry that all major presidential candidates passport files had been “BREACHED” I immediately conjured up images of Aldrich Ames and Robert Hanssen. Some long forgotten Soviet Mole scanning these files to do great harm to our democratic way of life….. A terrifying thought.
In reality we deal with a theory I learned when I watched the movie Contact called Ockham’s Razor. The basics of this theory are that all things being equal, the simplest explanation is the correct one.
So which is the simpler explanation: That clandestine political moles “breached” these passport files in furtherance of a subversive underground conspiracy to expose the private information of all the Presidential Candidates and throw the upcoming Presidential Election into chaos.
Is it more likely that the files were not “breached’ but simply snooped at by three stooges named Larry Moe and Shemp who were just caught up in the TMZ way of tabloid life and were looking for some good gossip to sell to Entertainment Tonight. Is it even more likely that these “stooges” simply succumbed of the basic human desire to meddle in everyone else’s business…..? In addition to the “presidential files” I suspect the files of Britney Spears, Marilyn Manson, and Anna Nicole Smith were also ‘breached”
Despite the simplest answer being the likeliest, in the grand tradition of grand jury mania, government waste, inept assistant U.S. Attorneys and politicians with absolutely nothing better to do; we will now have committees and grand juries convened, specials prosecutors appointed, subpoenas issued, Millions wasted instead of simply firing the people who snooped and be sure there is better supervision and accountability going forward… A lot more effective and less expensive…. Go figure….
I think all Americans should strive to get “BREACHED” One day your “BREACHED” the next thing you know you’re on the Girls Gone Wild party bus stripping with Ashley Alexandra Dupre and Eliot Spitzer….
God Bless America!
