(Washington)   Former Governor of New York Eliot Spitzer will hold a news conference in which he will announce his intent to ask for a special session of the New York State Legislature during which he will ask for his job back as governor.   In exchange for getting his job back Spitzer, inspired by the successful rehab of Lindsey Lohan  and her use of an alcohol ankle monitor will voluntarily wear an ankle monitor 24 hours a day. 

The monitor will light up if he has been with a hooker within the last 12 hours.   If the hooker cost more than 100 dollars the monitor will light up bright blue.  If the hooker cost more than 500 dollars the monitor will light up bright red. If the hooker cost more than 1000 dollars the monitor will light up bright green.  The monitor will also light up bright yellow if Spitzer has used taxpayer money to pay for the hooker.  Lindsey Lohan is expected to attend to news conference and say a few words.  More to follow……

Former high priced hooker/escort Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s (aka Kirsten) is ready to cash in big time on her “client #9 fame” liaisons with disgraced and soon to be indicted former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.   She shouldn’t buy the Park Avenue Penthouse just yet…. 

It is my bet that the tabloids, mainstream press and the blogosphere will make make more out of her projected multi-millionaire status than she will ever see a penny of.  The “Cuban Crystal Ball” is telling me that unless she rolls both her civil and criminal liability into an immunity grant in exchange for her testimony against Spitzer, before the year is out she will be facing both federal and state indictment as well as civil liability for income tax evasion and back taxes.  I admittedly know very little about the area of the law but if I were on the government side I would already be working on a “levy” against any profits she gets from appearances on the talk circut,magazine appearances clothed and unclothed and books. Even if she is able to roll any criminal tax liability into any criminal testimony for the government, I find it very hard to believe she will get a pass on the civil tax liability…..

Any criminal and civil tax attorneys out there to comment?

 (CNN Dallas) It has been reported that disgraced former Governor of New York Elliot Spitzer had some of his clandestine “Kristen romps” right here in Dallas, Texas.   Local CNN investigative reporters have been able to get the list of Dallas Escort Services used by Spitzer

• 1. Wild West Escorts. We specialize in the high rollin…. Cowboy wannabe from the suburbs. Included in the fee is an escort to the Fort Worth Rodeo by the former Ms. West Texas YMCA Bluebonnet Queen and the exclusive use of Billy Bob’s, Texas mechanical bucking bull specially equipped for multiple “rodeo style “positions…..

• 2. 30k Millionaire Escorts. We specializes in the 25-30 year old Jack In the Box manager, who is looking to “big time” it like they actually have a life. Included is an escort with an ex- Southern Methodist University Cheerleader fresh out of rehab. Limo service and rented 500 dollar suit are included in price, multiple parties welcome for a nominal additional per person charge……. Cocaine and Viagra also additional…….

• 3. Twelve Step Escorts -We specialize in drug and alcohol free encounters…. You will be escorted by the current Alcoholics Anonymous “Ms Sobriety” to 12 step meetings at all the local AA chapters and rehab centers…. We also specialize in “smokin hottie interventions”. We will arrange for someone you love to think he has landed a smokin hot date that in reality would never even look at him. She will tell him she just can’t wait and under the pretense of a date and transport him to the local Betty Ford Center. For a nominal extra fee a stop off at a local hotel is included for one last sex, coke and alcohol binge prior to the rehab stop……. You supply the coke….

While it is still unknown how Sptizer became a aware of these services, it is rumored that during the execution of a federal search warrant at his office a copy of “Escort Services For Dummies was found…..

CNN (NY) CNN has learned that just before the allegations against NY governor Eliot Spitzer were made public he made a phone call to the home phone prostitute named “Kristen” who worked for “The Emperor’s Club” and left a message on her voicemail.  While the Justice Department and FBI have been tightlipped about the contents of this voicemail, CNN investigative reporters have been able to obtain a copy which allegedly has Governor Spitzer leaving a “singing message” to Kirsten(who’s photos are now on the web).  The contents of the voicemail show a “conflicted:” governor who definitely needs some singing lessons. Here are the contents of the voicemail he sang to Roy Orbison song, Pretty Women….

Kristen’s phone: This is Kristen, I’m here but gettin busy…… please leave a message…

Governor Spitzer:  Kristen, I am sitting here alone in my hotel room at the Mayflower.  I just watched the movie Pretty Women and thought of you……

“Governor Spitzer begins to sing into the phone…..”

Skanky woman, always in heat
Skanky woman, I took a train to meet……

Skanky women….
Yes I touched you, I told the truth
I have to pay because I’m not in my youth….
Mercy

Skanky woman, I won’t you pardon you
Skanky woman, I will be in jail too…..
Skanky woman
That you look hot as can be
Are you horny just like me
Wow
Skanky woman, stop your lies
Skanky woman, talked to spies
Skanky woman, gave your STD to me, me, me…

Skanky woman, you’re a hoe hoe hoe
Skanky woman, my names not Joe
Skanky woman, say you’ll lie for  me
‘Cause I need you, I’ll treat you right
Come meet  me baby, I got cash tonight….

Skanky woman, don’t tell my wife….
Skanky women you’ll ruin my life
Skanky  woman, don’t walk away, hey…okay
If that’s the way it must be, okay
I guess I’ll go tell my wife  it’s late
There’ll be a tomorrow night, but wait
What do I see
Why are you blackmailing me
Yeah, you took 80 grand from me
Oh, oh, Skanky woman