CNN(Illinois) Unconfirmed sources have revealed that now former Governor Rod Blagojevich facing massive legal bills to defend his pending indictment and unemployable in any other legal capacity will hang out his solo shingle as a Chicago personal injury and criminal attorney. He obtained his Juris Doctor (J.D.) from Pepperdine University School of Law in 1983. There have been rumored sitings of his life size face on the back of Chicago rapid transit buses and strip club restrooms.

CNN has also been able to obtain this unedited script of his first television commercial to air during the Superbowl. You will only find it here on CNN!

My name is Rod Blagojevich. You may remember me as the wrongfully impeached Governor of the great state of Illinois. I have decided to put my years of experience in sleazy political tactics and lining my own pockets to work for you by fighting sleazy insurance companies to line your pockets!  I will take my  years of experience  profiting off the backs of the citizens of Illinois to watch your back!   In an auto accident?  Busted For Prostitution?  Indicted for corruption?  The Blogonator is here for you!  Call 1800-BLAGO day or night! Se Habla Espanol!

More to follow!

Attorney: Spitzer escort was 17 in ‘Wild’ videos – CNN.com

Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild scumbag and Ashley Alexandra Dupre the, Elliot Spitzer call girl extraordinaire and professional gold digger have a lot in common. They both can’t seem to win for trying. Francis first spends over a year in jail without being convicted of anything in a bizarre scenario starting with a criminal contempt citation in Panama City Florida and ending with Federal Indictments in Nevada. There were also various charges ranging in drug trafficking to child pornography. He recently pled out on many of the charges and was released but still faces trial on income tax evasion.

He then offers a cool mill to Dupre to appear in a GGW photospread and do some “promo work” consisting of spending some time on the infamous ‘GGW Drugs Sex And Rock n Roll Bus”. Before Francis can fork over the money, they find they are already in possession GGW video of a younger Dupre in various stages of undress and performing girl on girl sex acts.  Francis of course withdraws the offer.

Dupre, seeing her Park Avenue Penthouse suddenly disappear is not about to let Francis buy his Penthouse “off her back”. She can earn the money for that Penthouse “on her back” without his help and of course now claims that she was 17 when the video was taken. Francis of course is not amenable to spending anymore time in the gray bar Hilton, especially the Panama Florida Grey Bar Hilton who would love to have him back as a guest. Francis will spend some serious bank determining what her true age was when she appeared on the video. When those videos are finally released expect Francis to have his ass covered to the extent that he will probably have an affidavit from the delivery room nurse present when Dupre was born….

Bottom Line: Francis was already a rich scumbag and this will not affect that status. Dupre should not count on losing her ‘gold digger for hire” tag just yet…..

Francis and Dupre have one big thing in common, Francis is awaiting trial on income tax evasion and Dupre should not be too far behind him on that score.

Sounds like a match made in heaven. Instead of marrying and “rocking the house” they will be doing some “jail house rock”……

You know who really cleaned up here….. The person person who took the Vegas odds that Eliot Spitzer, Joe Francis and Ashley Dupre would ever be mentioned together in one story…… That person just topped Mark Cuban in the Forbes 400…..

(Washington)   Former Governor of New York Eliot Spitzer will hold a news conference in which he will announce his intent to ask for a special session of the New York State Legislature during which he will ask for his job back as governor.   In exchange for getting his job back Spitzer, inspired by the successful rehab of Lindsey Lohan  and her use of an alcohol ankle monitor will voluntarily wear an ankle monitor 24 hours a day. 

The monitor will light up if he has been with a hooker within the last 12 hours.   If the hooker cost more than 100 dollars the monitor will light up bright blue.  If the hooker cost more than 500 dollars the monitor will light up bright red. If the hooker cost more than 1000 dollars the monitor will light up bright green.  The monitor will also light up bright yellow if Spitzer has used taxpayer money to pay for the hooker.  Lindsey Lohan is expected to attend to news conference and say a few words.  More to follow……

Former high priced hooker/escort Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s (aka Kirsten) is ready to cash in big time on her “client #9 fame” liaisons with disgraced and soon to be indicted former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.   She shouldn’t buy the Park Avenue Penthouse just yet…. 

It is my bet that the tabloids, mainstream press and the blogosphere will make make more out of her projected multi-millionaire status than she will ever see a penny of.  The “Cuban Crystal Ball” is telling me that unless she rolls both her civil and criminal liability into an immunity grant in exchange for her testimony against Spitzer, before the year is out she will be facing both federal and state indictment as well as civil liability for income tax evasion and back taxes.  I admittedly know very little about the area of the law but if I were on the government side I would already be working on a “levy” against any profits she gets from appearances on the talk circut,magazine appearances clothed and unclothed and books. Even if she is able to roll any criminal tax liability into any criminal testimony for the government, I find it very hard to believe she will get a pass on the civil tax liability…..

Any criminal and civil tax attorneys out there to comment?