I was reading the Personal Journal Section of the Wall Street Journal There was an article entitled “New Tatics Take The Bite Out Of Bed Bugs” Since this article is not about bed bugs I will just say that the article as it implies goes over new technology is combating the problem of bed bugs which apparently is a problem in NYC. (I just checked my bed and it does not appear to be a problem in the Cuban household but I am sure I will dream about bedbugs tonight).

What caught my eye was one of the ” bed bug fighting companies” named in the article. The article states “Bedbugs and Beyond will remove people’s furniture and fumigate it with poisonous gas.

Being a frequent shopper at Bed, Bath and Beyond a respected retailer who I suspect is “bedbug free”. I thought they were making a joke about Bed Bath…. I do not consider myself to be more sensitive or have perception skills beyond the average Ralph so what does this tell me?

I can not believe the attorneys for Bed Bath and Beyond have not made a trademark stink over this…. It is clearly a play on their name in a derivative industry. My not so legal mind believes there is a decent argument that this is a defamatory attempt at satire to make a profit off of the Bed Bath and Beyond name which also dilutes the trademark value of Bed Bath and Beyond….

Any trademark attorneys out there to comment?

The Dallas Morning news is reporting that a former judge now running for Cook County District Attorney (on the Oklahoma border) committed prosecutorial misconduct during the murder trial of a man accused of raping women twenty years ago.  Judge Mike Snipes concluded that the Court of Criminal Appeals should grant Clay Chabot a new trial because Janice Warder, the lead prosecutor in the case, failed to disclose information favorable to the defense that could have changed the jury’s verdict.

The 10-page finding said that Ms. Warder did not tell Mr. Chabot’s defense attorneys about inconsistent statements by his brother-in-law Gerald Pabst, whom DNA tests now show to be the rapist. The judge also said that Ms. Warder did not disclose discussions with another witness about her not being interested in prosecuting him for drug dealing.

Ms. Warder violated what is called “The Brady Rule“. This is a court ruling that requires the prosecution to turn over to the defense evidence which may be “exculpatory”(which may prove the defendant’s innocence)  This was a court ruling in the 1963 Supreme Court  case Brady v. Maryland.

I admit that I have long since forgotten anything I learned about criminal law and procedure in law school and studying for the Texas Bar Exam.  I also admit that anything I know about criminal law is as a result of watching re-runs of Law and Order and Law and Order SVU ad-naseum…..   That makes it easy for me. When someone asks me for advice in the criminal law area, I simply research a particular Law and Order episode, tell the person when that episode will air and to watch it and send them a bill……. Well not really but I do know some attorneys who I would swear practice law that way…… Sure as hell beats going to the law library or paying for Lexis…..  Law and Order comes with my basic cable so it saves me a hell of a lot of money in legal research…..

In any event, I digress…….

I was simply shocked that the article inferred that there was no administrative or criminal legal recourse against Ms. Warder for her conduct in the trial. I clearly recall a Law and Order episode entitled “Under The Influence” that dealt with this issue. 

In this episode, Jack McCoy withheld the statement of a flight attendant whose testimony would have resulted in a lesser charge for person accused of murder by running over some people while drunk. He even encouraged her to leave the country during trial!   There was clear implication in the show that this was prosecutorial misconduct and sanctionable…. 

Jack gets off the hook but hey I love Law and Order, don’t you?

Jack McCoy is my idol.  Isn’t he yours?  I have every episode ever broadcast Tivo’d.  I am sure you do too.  I think I could have bypassed law school and just watched Jack McCoy prepare and try cases.  I would pass the bar and be the best trial attorney ever!  Isn’t that what you did?  I love Jack!  He wins the great majority of his cases, and certainly all his rape cases!  He withholds evidence from the defense and walks away without as much as a slap on the wrist!  He lies to witnesses and defendants and it is okay!  Jack makes inflammatory comments not supported by the evidence to the media and he is a hero for it!   His trial arguments are often emotional and not based on any evidence, but no one objects and he gets the conviction! 

Wait, there is a catch here.  Sam Waterston, who plays Jack McCoy, is an actor – not an attorney.  Sam Waterston, after committing all those terrible legal sins every episode, gets to go home to his wife and kids every night and read his script for his next episode.  

Does anything happen to Janice Warden for her legal sins which in my book are no less egregious twenty years later? 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating some “absolution” for guy on the receiving end of the misconduct….. If you read the article, he is clearly a bad guy and contrary to popular believe the ends often due justify the means. 

What I am concerned about is the drunk driving rule which states for every time you get pulled over for drunk driving, you drove drunk up to 100 times without getting caught. (I can’t remember where I heard that) There has to be an innocent schmoe caught up in that math somewhere……

Maybe I am just naïve and Dallas Justice and justice everywhere is just like the Law and Order television show….

What am I missing here…..

It looks like former New England Patriot film guy turned government rat Matt Walsh may be ready to spill his guts to the federal government. No quite the Valachi Papers or Donnie Brasco but another sports scandal distraction for us all to roll our eyes out and watch the government cash registers “chi-ching” away at all the wasted tax dollars. If I read one thing about a congressional investigation or grand jury subpoenas with regard to the New England Patriots taping scandal I’m going to puke. I’m starting to suspect these federal prosecutors and elected officials get a “per subpoena” bonus… Barry Bonds perjury trial, Roger Clemens suspected perjury, Steroid Hearings… Every time I pick up the papers some grand jury or Senate Committee is being convened to spend millions of dollars in taxpayer money on issues that are absolutely trivial in the grand scheme of issues that affect our lives….

Meanwhile, Wesley Snipes thumbs his nose at the Federal government to the tune of 38 million dollars and gets away with it! (At least the criminal part) 

As sure as I am sitting here, a year from now we are going to be reading about another moronic investigation, about Congressional testimony, who will testify and whether Bill Belechick will be indicted for perjury……. Go get him guys! I did read on TMZ that Bill Belechick used to be a CIA operative and is currently being questioned in the CIA tape destruction scandal. He has not been heard from in 24 hours and the rumor is circulating that he has been “renditioned” to the site of Jimmy Hoffa’s grave

I did hear that there is a new NBC primetime  reality series starting this fall entitled: I AM THE TARGET OF A GRAND JURY INVESTIGATION………  They are trying to locate Jimmy Hoffa to be the first guest star…

Once again, the premise that attorneys have no sense of humor is proven. This time by a Houston attorney named, Mark Bennett who took some shots at me in his Criminal Defense Blog. It is ironic that I would argue that failure to service and/or communicate with the client is the most excusable in the criminal defense arena where it is about immediate results against huge consequences for a bad one…. If Mark gets me off on a murder rap, I certainly would overlook no returned calls…..

I must have really struck a nerve down there with my “I DON’T GIVE A SHIT BLOG or maybe it was my criticism of Rusty Hardin. Other than my comments about Rusty, (which I am sure he read and was traumatized to no end) I went back and looked at the ‘SHIT BLOG”. Maybe I was off base and should clarify, quantify, rectify and every other “fy” out there……. It really does not matter does it…? I am sure that other than obviously making Mr. Bennett uncomfortable, my little read thoughts will not have much effect on the state of attorney-client service in the State of Texas

I however I frankly think I am in a better position to opine on the subject than the Mark Bennetts of the world…. Why do you say? I say this because I can be more objective in that I am not beholding to any special interests…… What special interests do you ask? The largest legal special interest out there that 90 percent of attorney’s rely on to get their business…….. Other attorneys.

There is a warm blanket of honesty attached with not needing referral business as I am sure Mr. Bennett does……

Time to go get my bicycle hose out of the closet. Need to “self’ inflate” my reputation value….. I have no doubt Mr. Bennett uses one of those electric heavy duty ones to deal with his ego……