I can immediately solve the problem of athletes who for one reason or another feel the need to carry firearms. I have the solution for Plaxico Burress and every other professional athlete who feels a sense of entitlement and necessity to pack heat while out and about because they feel unsafe, targets of opportunity, put upon, or just simply irritated by us non-recognizable types who are only packing a credit card and some bullshit lines to try on women when we hit the clubs.  If you are a professional athlete and  listen to my advice, you will never feel the need to “go heavy” into the night again. We will all be safer for it.  Here it is.  Pay close attention.

Immediately quit your job with your NFL team, NBA team, MLB team etc.  Immediately take a job digging ditches or working at Jack In The Box.  You will no longer have the famous name. You will no longer have the millions of dollars. You will no longer have the wads of cash.  You will no longer have the blingy bling. You will no longer be walked passed the line into the hot night clubs with that sense of entitlement to pack heat, break the law and endanger the rest of us every day anonymous schmos who dont know you from adam. Every reason you had for packing will disappear overnight. You will now be one of us anonymous schmos who expect the only people packing arounds are those who are doing so legally.  Do all of this and your problems will be solved.  I can even help you out right now.  The Jack down the street from me is hiring.

It appears New York Giant’s “gangsta” wide receiver Plaxico Burress is going to have the honor and privilege becoming a member of the exclusive “Big Tim Sullivan Fan Club“. Once accepted you are a member for life. Other invitees to the club include rappers, Lil, Wayne, 50 Cents and Ja Rule. Membership does not carry the perks of the much more exclusive NFL but unlike the NFL there is a lot more at stake with membership in the Big Tim Sullivan Fan Club than winning or losing an NFL game. The only requirements for an invitation for membership in the Big Tim Sullivan Fan Club is that you get caught carrying an unlicensed handgun in New York. Plaxico Burress submitted his application for admission into the Big Tim Sullivan Fan Club when he recently shot himself in the leg at a NYC nightclub. So who the hell is Big Tim Sullivan?

Big Tim Sullivan was a politician and organized crime boss in NYC during the mid to late 1800s. He rose out of the slums of the 5 Points dramatized in the movie Gangs Of New York and went on to a very colorful career in politics and political corruption. He also notably helped pass the law bearing his name which requires a permit to own a handgun in New York. The Sullivan Act became law May 29, 1911. It is still the law in New York. The current version of the law carries some pretty stiff penalties including jail time. Plaxico should have checked references of other members before applying for membership by bringing his loaded piece into a NYC nightclub. Current members would have advised him that carrying a loaded weapon other than the one god gave him into a nightclub not only will not get him laid but could result in a non-NFL suspension of that privilege(at least by a women) for a year or more. Plaxico apparently has also been very active in applying to various organizations that accurately reflect the type of public persona he has worked so hard to achieve. Word on the street is that he was recently accepted to the very exclusive “If I Couldn’t Play Ball I’d Be Livin Behind A Prison Wall” club. It is rumored he was sponsored for membership by Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones. Welcome to the club Plaxico!

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The NFL’s New York Jets and  New York Giants are in the mist of naming right negotiations for their new 1.3 billion dollar  stadium slated to open in 2010. The rights are expected to bring the teams between 20-30 million dollars per year.   While involving big bucks there normally would be just a behind the scenes ho-hum series of negotiations culminating with a press-release, sports page coverage and maybe a low key obligatory news conference.  The teams can only dream in retrospect that this could have been the scenario

The leading contender for the naming rights was  Allianz.  Allianz is a Germany based Insurance Company. Allianz was founded in 1890.  It is the largest financial service provider in the world.  Allianz already has has it name on Allianz Arena in its home city of Munich.  It was home to the 2006 FIFA World Cup.

Allianz also has significant historical ties to Nazi Germany. This is nothing new in terms of  Nazi history. Many currently reputable companies based in Europe played either direct or tangential roles in providing materials and services to the Nazis in aid of the war machine.  Allianz falls into a unique group. Their business relationships with the Nazis were not related to advancing the war effort.  Their services directly aided in advancing “The Final Solution”.  The genocide of all Jews in Europe and ultimately the world. According to noted historian Gerald Feldman, Allianz had given money owed to Jewish beneficiaries of their life insurance policies to the Nazi authorities instead. They also insured the construction of concentration camps.  Feldman has written that Allianz sold life insurance policies to Jews with knowledge that Jews were being murdered in mass.  They knew there would be very little if any chance of ever collecting.  Allianz allegedly further collaborated with the Nazis to hide the fraud being committed on the Jews from the outside world portraying what Feldman termed “business as usual”.  As an interesting media side-note the Allianz ties to Nazi Germany was dramatized in a Law and Order Episode entitled ” Blood Money“.

The the thought of driving past or entering “Allianz Stadium”  with the ghosts and memories of 6 million murdered Jews emanating from it created an uproar not only the Jewish community but many local New York and New Jersesy community leaders. Allianz has responded to previous complaints and accusations by stating that it has made restitution to Holocaust victims and has therefore atoned for its sins.  It should not be held further accountable in its business dealings.   There are those that disagree. Elan Steinberg, the former director of the World Jewish Congress said Allianz still owes Jewish beneficiaries some $2 billion dollars.  Steinberg is notable for negotiating the 1998 multi-billion dollar global Holocaust settlement from Swiss and other international banks and business interests holding assets belonging to Holocaust victims.  Interestingly Allianz allegedly held up insurance payments to 9-11 victims, finally paying when confronted with threatened government action.

In the end the Stadium Authority decided that the public relations disaster barreling towards them like a tidal wave and the collateral good will and public relations damage that would ensue was not worth taking the highest bidder.  There were certainly millions to be had from other interested parties with less sordid corporate pasts. The Sports Authority issued a brief statement that negotiations with Allianz for naming rights had terminated.

Was Allianz treated unfairly?  As a descendant of Russian Jews I am acutely aware of the historical, moral and personal connection that Jews feel to the Holocaust and intentional an unintentional  actions that diminish the inhuman magnitude of horror that it represents.  I believe the Stadium authority did the right thing in rejecting the Allianz bid.  The bid should not have been rejected because of what Allianz represents as a company. They represent a  successful  financial services company trying to maximize their exposure and profits.  Good for the Giants and Jets.  Good for Allianz.  Good for the local economy. Sound business sense.  Allianz should not have gotten the bid because of what the name “Allianz” represents as a “historical brand”   Whether they like it or not the Allianz  historical brand presently carries a significant current Holocaust taint to it.  As long as that taint exists to the brand Allianz has a responsibility to  wield their brand with sensitivity and restraint. Companies have a duty to consider the historical taint when doing business with Allianz.   When history and world opinion finally dictates that the Allianz historical brand has been cleansed to the extent to it ho longer carries the ghost of 6 million dead, then and only they can should they expand the marketing of that brand to areas bringing the public conscience into play  as compared to the individual consumer purchase.

There will certainly be a day when the Allianz brand is cleansed and ready to re-enter the business world marketing to the public consumer and the public conciense without guilt or a historical flogging.  Today is not that day.