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Sarah Palin: “I Was Abducted By Aliens!”

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Sarah Palin: “I Was Abducted By Aliens!”


TMZ (Alaska)  It what has been termed the most shocking development to date in the  Republican Vice Presidential nomination of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and possibly in human history  “The Thirty Mile Zone”(TMZ) has learned that Palin will issue a statement admitting that her newborn baby is not hers.   She will reveal that approximately 20 years ago and shortly after winning the Ms. Wasilla beauty contest she was abducted by aliens and beamed up to their ship.  She underwent medical examination and was  forced to undergo an “alien marriage” to a lizard like creature that has taken human shape in the form of her  husband Todd.  She claims Todd was her high school sweetheart but an exhaustive records search turned up no evidence that he ever attended high school.  A long time Wasilla resident who wished to remain anonymous stated:

“Neither I nor anyone I know had ever seen Todd before they started dating. It was if he had dropped out of the sky.  I do remember that he always had very bad breath.”

Palin will  admit that these aliens are “asexual”  and not capable of reproduction as we currently understand the process.   She has undergone artificial “alien insemination” in a secret lab at Area 51 for the last twenty years in order to maintain the appearance of a normal life. These insemination procedures  often took place with President George Bush and Presidential Candidate John McCain in attendance. Palin also claims that  she has concrete evidence that Presidential Candidate Barack Obama and wife Michelle are also not of this earth. They are members of an alien race  she called “Obamaroids”.  These Obamaroids have taken up positions in all levels of government with the intent of mind control enslavement of the human race.  Palin pointed to the fact that Obama’s biggest financial contributor is the multi-billion dollar conglomerate Manchurian Global. Manchurian has been dogged by rumors for decades that they have attempted to place people they control in various levels of government.

Palin alleges that for the past 3 years there have been breaches of United States airspace by extra-terrestrial crafts which have deposited millions of undetected “pods” hidden in rural farm fields and uninhabited terrain in both the United States, Canada. After a three week “gestation” period, these pods hatch the lizard-like Obamaroid creatures. When fully developed they appear completely human to the naked eye and communicate both verbally, telepathically along with mind control capabilities.

Rumor has it that President Bush will shortly issue an executive order extending the Military Commissions Act of 2006 to extra-terrestrials.  He will then declare  Barrack and Michelle Obama “enemy combatants and have them transferred to  specially fortified holding cell in Guantanamo Bay.  This will effectively end Obama’s presidential bid and hand the election to the McCain/Palin ticket. Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama had little to say when briefed on these developments but a large bottle of Scope mouthwash was conspicuously at his side.

Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain stated that he was ready to kick ass and chew bubble gum and he was all out of bubble gum.  He also stated that he was ready to “re-up” for military service and felt confident that he could be brought up to speed quickly on the new military fighter jets. When asked if his age would prevent him from military service, McCain stated that he had just watched the movie Independence Day and if Randy Quaid could save the world from aliens, he should get his shot.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this TMZ  special report entitled  Aliens At The Gates!

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Pervs For Politicians Announce Award Nominations

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Pervs For Politicians Announce Award Nominations


(Washington) The grass-roots watchdog group, Pervs For Politicians(PFP) has released its nominations for the Political Pervert Of The New Millennium Award.  An executive panel was convened at the PFP national convention to evaluate the nominees. The  criteria for selection included overall depravity of the act, whether the act broke any laws,  whether public funds were used to support the pervert lifestyle and how long they were able to conceal their perversions from family and public.  Among those casting votes were honorary PFP board members including former President Bill Clinton, former Speaker Of The House Newt Gingrich, former presidential candidate Gary Hart and Monica Lewinsky.  Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain declined an honorary board membership based on the nebulous timeline in his divorce and subsequent marriage to Cindy McCain.  When asked for comment McCain stated, “cut me a break, I’m 71 and my trophy wife is smokin.”

Here are the nominees:

1.  Elliot Spitzer – Former New York Governor Spitzer earned his nomination by cheating on his wife with now infamous Hooters girl gone wild party hooker Ashely Dupree.   Spitzer was recently seen entering the Mayflower hotel for a rumored meeting with Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis.  They are rumored to be in negotiations for the new Francis reality series entitled:  “Pervert Politicians Do The Beltway! Get On The Bus!”

2.   John Edwards:  Former presidential candidate John Edwards was a late entry for the PFP award.  Edwards recently admitted to having an affair  with his former campaign videographer Reille Hunter.  One panel member who spoke on the condition of anonymity stated that Edwards nomination was a close call.  The panel was divided on whether having an affair while his wife battled terminal cancer qualified him as a political pervert or for the Political Scumbag of The Year Award to be handed out later this year.   It is rumored that as the story broke Edwards was lobbying the Bush administration to have Hunter declared an enemy combatant and sent to live in a private villa at Guantanamo Bay.

3.  Kwame Kilpatrick (Democrat): In 2002 Kwame, the current mayor of Detroit, was accused of throwing a “stripper party” at the Manoogian Mansion.  In January 2008 The Detroit Free Press broke the existence of more than 14,000 text messages exchanged between Kilpatrick and his chief of staff Christine Beatty. Many of the messages were sexually graphic in nature and referred to the extra-martial relationship between the two as well as efforts to cover-up his alleged misconduct while in office.  Mayor Kilpatrick also has the honor of being the only serving mayor currently under felony indictment for official misconduct.  He was unavailable for comment on his nomination as he is currently incarcerated for violating the terms of his bail stemming from the pending felony charges.

4.   Larry Craig(Republican):   Idaho Senator Larry Craig is considered to be a front runner for the PFP award. Senator Craig was arrested for lewd conduct in the men’s bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. Craig gave a whole new meaning to the “footsies mating call” in allegedly soliciting some good old bathroom peep hole “yanks” from an undercover police officer. Unfortunately for the Senator the only thing yanked that day was the cloak over his perv lifestyle.  It is rumored that Senator Craig will be introducing legislation to have all toilet stalls in Idaho public restrooms moved closer together.  When asked to comment on the new legislation, Craig stated that contact in public restrooms should be encouraged as a learning experience bringing people closer.

5.   Mark Foley(Republican):  Foley resigned from Congress after allegations that he had sent suggestive emails and sexually explicit instant messages to teenage boys serving as Congressional pages. He had allegedly also sent them to former pages.  Foley allegedly e-mailed one page offering a stay at his home in exchange for oral sex.  Foley allegedly e-mailed another page requesting a photo of his “erect penis”.  Foley was unavailable for comment on his PFP nomination.  It is rumored he is chairing the “Foley’s Young Perky Pages For Congress” Convention in Bangkok, Thailand.  A calendar is rumored to be in the works along with the Foley’s Perky Pages Twitter Network.

6.   James Mcgreevey(Democrat): The former governor of New Jersey resigned from office after admitting that he had an affair with a male aide.  When reached for comment, Mcgreevey condemned the nomination. When it was pointed out that the PFP nomination was not for being gay but for having and affair and shaming his wife and family he stated, “They will get over it”. Mcgreevey, now a seminary student further stated that he was happy over a recent ruling that he would not have to pay his ex-wife alimony.  He and his love partner wold be using the money saved for a two week trip to the Hedonism Resort.

7.David Vitter(Republican):  The senator from Louisiana found himself ensnared in the D.C. Madam scandal when his telephone number showed up in her phone book.  Vitter was previously accused by a member of the Louisiana Republican State Central Committee of carrying on a lengthy affair with a prostitute in New Orleans’s French Quarter.  Vitter has recently been seen in the company of nasty girl gone wild Ashley Dupree.  When asked for comment he stated, “She was good enough for Spitz, shes good enough for the Vittsman”.

8. David Patterson(Democrat):- Not to be out-done by former New York governor Elliot Spitzer, current governor David Paterson admitted to several affairs.  Patterson stated he maintained one relationship for two or three years with “a woman other than my wife.” It is rumored that Patterson will introduce new legislation that anyone running for the Senate or Governor in New York must have at least one extra-marital affair under his/her belt.  The legislation is co-sponsored by New York Senator Hillary Clinton.

A reprsentative of the Pervs For Politicians national selection committe stated that all nominees have been asked to provide photos, sex tapes, hotel receipts and any other evidence that would support being named the Political Pervert Of The New Millenium. Voting will begin online shortly. Stayed tuned for further details.

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Inside The Jewish Internet Defense Force

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Inside The Jewish Internet Defense Force


On July 27th someone hacked hacked into a Facebook group called, “Israel” Is Not A Country!. Delist It From Facebook As A Country!” Responsibility was claimed by the Jewish Internet Defense Force.(JIDF) The JIDF posted the following statement on the group page:

This group was one of the most vile, antisemitic, pro-terrorist sites on the internet. Moreover, it was the most active hate group of all, heartily promoting hatred, murder, and genocide while proliferating abominable propaganda paralleled only by the fables of Goebbels. While such content clearly violates Facebook’s own Terms of Use and Code of Conduct, provisions that users agree to abide when they register on the site, Facebook refused to take action. Despite thousands of user complaints over the course of eighteen months, Facebook allowed this group and its ubiquitous antisemitic lies to flourish. Facebook’s own negligence and abdication of responsibility gave us no option but to take matters in our own hands.

We wish to be clear – we have no issues with legitimate political discourse so long as it is contextual, comparative and truthful. However, when it comes to encouraging the murder of Jews and purposefully disseminating misinformation to demonize Jews and to delegitimize Israel, there is a moral obligation to remove the platform of such repugnant hate-mongers. Unfortunately, we do not need to search too far back into history to realize that such evils have a real cost in terms of human lives.”

In addition to posting the above statement, the JIDF began deleting the names of all Forty Eight Thousand members of the group. As of last check, there were just over Twenty Thousand names still left on the list. The JIDF would not elaborate on how they have been able to accomplish this on an on-going basis. There apparently has been no response from Facebook to date.

In order to get some insight into the activities and motives of the JIDF with regards to Anti-Semitic and other types of hate speech in the social networking arena, I contacted the group responsible for the hack. A representative of the group agreed to be interviewed on the condition of anonymity.  He related that he has received multiple death threats arising out of his activities in the JIDF.

What is the origin of of the JIDF?

The JIDF started as a grassroots effort at the beginning in 2000. Many of us were in NYC during 9/11, so that had a major impact as well. It began as a mass email campaign. It eventually morphed onto Myspace during the war with Hezbollah in 2006 and protesting the disengagement from Gush Katif/Gaza. Shortly thereafter, we evolved with the technology onto Facebook. Originally it started as just to share news and information about Israel and Jewish issues with a bit of commentary here and there. As we used Facebook, we noticed many of the issues began literally to stare us in the face. Anti-semitic and pro-Jihadist groups were springing up everywhere.

Why JIDF?

The name “JIDF” is a recent development. We liked how it morphed “Jewish” with IDF – especially in light of the contrast between the religious and secular world in Israel and the Jewish world in general.

What are the short and long term goals of the JIDF?

One of our short term objectives is to expose Barack Obama and prevent him from winning the Presidential election. In the long term we hope to expose and fight antisemitism and pro-Jihadist trends on the web, including, but not limited to, the vast array of issues on Facebook, Google/Youtube, Google- Earth, and Wikipedia.

What do you hope to expose about Barack Obama?

We hope to continue to highlight the issues surrounding his terrorist connections as well as his racist and antisemitic church which has supported Hamas and The Reverend Louis Farrakhan.

What is the position of the JIDF on the “Palestinian Question” regarding disputes over occupied lands?

Palestinians should be transferred out of Israeli territories. They can live in any of the other many Arab states. We are against all land concessions to our enemies. We are against the release of terrorist prisoners from Israeli prisons. We are against the arming and funding of our enemies and the negotiation with them. We are for morals, ethics and common sense and feel Israel must truly act as a “light unto the nations” in order for the world to be safe as we feel Israel is truly on the front lines in the war in which Islam has declared upon us

What has the reaction been from the Jewish community here and abroad?

Since the Jewish people are so diverse, the reaction has been diverse from full support to full condemnation.

What about the Muslim Community?

99.9% of Muslims hate us. There have been 4 viable death threats. These threats are not just from non-Jewish Middle Eastern community, but Neo Nazis, etc.

Do you feel social networking groups have the right to question Israel’s right to exist as legitimate social discourse?

Absolutely! Where they cross the line is when they spew hatred and promote violence, murder and genocide. This is happening on Facebook despite 10′s of thousands of complaints and reports.

Do you feel Facebook and other social networking sites are doing enough to monitor groups promoting hate speech?

Facebook has been negligent in this regard. As an organization it has completely abdicated its responsibility to its users. Youtube also needs to do more. They all have rules in place. They should draw the line when people are blatantly promoting hatred, violence, murder, and genocide. (as most of their own rules state) They need to be more efficient with their systems to monitor and remove this type of user-generated content.

How do you respond to those who claim your group is engaging in the exact some rhetoric and conduct that it criticizes?

We disagree. We do not promote hatred, violence, murder or genocide. We do not promote known terrorist entities. We do not misinform. We do not lie nor make up lies. We do not call people “apes and pigs” – like many of the Muslims do. We do not advocate the destruction of countries or of people. The list goes on and on.

Did you break the law when you hacked the Facebook group?

We absolutely broke no laws doing what we did. In fact, we operate with the advice of legal counsel and within the confines of the law.

There seems little doubt that Social Media is the new battle ground for social activism. Social Media is not only the new face of social activism, it is a the new face of ethnic and religious hatred and intolerance on all sides. As social networking groups such a Facebook have sprung up and attracted substantial membership more and more groups taking extreme positions on one subject or another have become popular. Proving this point is the fact that the “Israel Is Not a Country” Facebook group had over forty thousand members at the time it was hacked. Are social networking groups such as Facebook and Youtube doing enough to monitor groups and content advocating extreme political and religous positions that attempt to encourage or incite violence and hatred towards other groups? Are they simply encouraging legitimate social discourse? Contrary to popular belief there is no right of free speech on social netowrking sites. They are for the most part private entities not covered by the First Amendment. The sites have to the right to censor and remove material they deem objectionable. Where do we draw the line between incitement of hate and legitimate debate on religious, ethnic and political issues? Should ther even be a line? Many would argue that the JIDF encourages the same hateful rhetoric that it claims it fights against. Are they attempting to squash legitimate debate? Are they also promoting hate and intolerance? No one is safe. Let the discourse begin.

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Obamaroid Invasion!

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Obamaroid Invasion!


(WASHINGTON) CNN has learned that President George W. Bush will announce what he termed a “historic news conference”. Press Secretary Dana Perino stated that the announcement would be of unprecedented scientific and political significance. While the administration has been tight lipped on any further details, CNN has been able to obtain certain key details and the attached photos taken with a cell phone camera smuggled into Area 51. The photos are both stunning and frightening in their national and world significance.

CNN has has been told that an announcement will be made that the question of whether we are alone in the universe has been answered. The answer will pose a significant threat to national and world security. President Bush is considering a complete recall of the National Guard from the Middle East. An emergency session of Congress has been convened to consider reinstating the draft to deal with this galactic threat.

It appears that for the past 3 years there have been breaches of United States airspace by extra-terrestrial crafts which have deposited millions of undetected “pods” hidden in rural farm fields and uninhabited terrain in both the United States, Canada. After a three week “gestation” period, these pods have hatched humanoid creatures which the Bush administration as termed “OBOMAROIDS”.

CNN has learned that these “OBAMAROIDS” when fully developed appear completely human to the naked eye and communicate both verbally, telepathically along with mind control capabilities. These OBAMAROIDS were first detected through a mysterious signal that seemed to be emanating from Obama Girls videos on YouTube.

A team of decryption specialists at MIT have been able to determine that the source of the signal. It is a previously undetected alien satellite of unknown origin orbiting the earth. While the meaning of the signals are still unknown, it has been determined that part of the signal transmits the message: “I am John McCain, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Catch Up” It has also been determined though brain scans that there is a definite mind control component to the signal. It is unknown how long this signal has been transmitted and how many people have been infected.

President Bush will issue an executive order tommorow extending the Military Commissions Act of 2006 to extra-terrestrials. He will then declare the Obama girls “enemy combatants”. They have already been arrested by the FBI and are being held in a specially fortified holding cell in Guantanamo Bay. This cell is designed to prevent any type of signals going in or out.

Scientists from all over the world have alleged come together at Area 51 in New Mexico to hopefully determine the extent of the invasion and whether the signal has affected the internet. Specially designed sunglasses are being developed that would be able to spot these OBAMAROIDS in their alien form. One MIT scientist speaking on condition of anonymity due to national security concerns stated when seen in their alien form , these OBMAROIDS were ugly, “lizard like” creatures.

Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama had little to say when briefed on these developments. He was overhead on a “hot mike” commenting that he had purchased new designer sunglasses for everyone on his staff.

Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain stated that he was ready to battle the OBAMAROIDS wherever they were on land and sea. He also stated that he was ready to “re-up” for military service and felt confident that he could be brought up to speed quickly on the new military fighter jets. When asked if his age would prevent him from military service, McCain stated that he had just watched the movie Independence Day and if Randy Quaid could save the world from aliens, he should get his shot.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this special CNN special report entitled ATTACK OF THE OBAMAROIDS!

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