We are protected from unwanted  sexual behavior in our place of employment.  We have the right to be free of unwanted sexual advances,  sexual innuendo,  demands for sex in exchange for job advancement or keeping a job. The list goes on and on. There is an entire body of law and several Supreme Court decisions that give  us that protection and tell us what we should do if we are harassed.  If you are to believe two New York Police Department(NYPD) male police officers we are also protected from unwanted crotch itch.  That’s right. if your co-worker does more ball handling than Steve Nash you can get him fired and  sue for sexual harassment.

A gay NYPD lieutenant was recently found guilty by NYPD of sexually harassing two male sergeants.  Lt. Kieran Crowe, a 23-year NYPD veteran, was  initially suspended 60 days without pay for rubbing his crotch, simulating masturbation and wiggling his tongue at the male sergeants.  Crowe admitted that he may have scratched his groin area, but said it was because he suffered from “jock itch”. He even had a note from his doctor.  The “jockered” cops have now filed a federal sexual harassment suit against Crowe.  Crowe’s attorney stated:

“Does it make sense that this gentle, homosexual man would seek to coerce and seduce two large, burly heterosexuals?”

Believe it or not “crotch grab” harassment is not unusual. It unfortunately is a common gesture used by  neanderthals to reach a higher sexual and intellectual plane.  What is the message being sent with the “grab”?  If the message is, “I shouldn’t have slept with that girl last night” then the intent is probably not to sexually harass. The guy should get some powder and a penicillin shot.  In Crowe’s case however he was allegedly doing it whenever he was in the presence of these two ‘jockophobic” sergeants and was also moaning loudly whenever he scratched.

Should this “crotchety” police officer been canned?  There are those who would argue that “crotch-grabbing” has actually become the in thing among the Hollywood elite as a sign of respect for co-workers.  This trend was allegedly started by Oliver Stone and Josh Brolin during the filming of the movie “W“.  Brolin insisted his co-stars break up serious scenes by flipping off the director and grabbing their crotches.  I wonder if Stone and Brolin will be called as experts in crotch grabbing at Crowe’s the civil trial.

I suspect that Crowe’s dismissal will be overturned and he will be reinstated to the NYPD.   Hopefully minus his jock itch.

Motto of story?  If it doesn’t itch you must acquit.