My girlfriend and I were eating dinner at a local Dallas restaurant that doubles a a look and be seen venue of local elite, elite wannabes and 30k millionaires. Translation?  You never know who is going to walk through the door.

As we were chit-chatting and enjoying the visual entertainment, a guy I know entered and walked up to the bar.  He was one of those guys or girls who over the years, you see repeatedly as you and your fixed clique of single, once single and single again acquaintances move through life in a often fluctuating but never really changing mate and date scene.

He was a very good looking guy that always had a very good looking women on his arm.  They however,  always seemed to be the same women.  Not the same in re-hooking up with a previous flame.  The same in that he always seemed to be with a women from the same rotating fixed menu choices that I have seen out on the Dallas scene for the last 10 years.

That night was no exception. In lockstep behind him was  a very attractive women who had also been part of the Dallas “out and about” scene for the last 10 years and had dated nine other guys I know.  I turned to my girlfriend and said:

“That makes perfect sense that they are together”

She inquired as to why.  “Because they are both into group sex”

She was flabbergasted and immediately suspicious.   “How would you know they are into group sex!!”

“Because they run in a group that no matter how many years go by, at one point or another, everyone in the group has dated or slept with everyone else in the group.  Group Sex!!

About three months later I saw the same guy again at a Dallas Mavericks game.  He was with, you guessed it, another group sex girl!

What is it about this “group sex” phenomenon.  Ten or Fifteen years will go by and the dating clique will move right along with it, fluctuating only as people get married, divorced, date and dumped.  Always coming back to the flock like pigeons to a homing beacon.  Keep in mind that this is Dallas, Texas, a large metropolis with plenty of dating options. I suspect it the same in New York City ,Chicago, Miami etc where the dating options are even more expansive.

Any explanations out there?  Is a certain level of insecurity to step outside our comfort zone and into the rejection zone simply part of the human condition?

Copyright 2010

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