My girlfriend and I were eating dinner at a local Dallas restaurant that doubles a a look and be seen venue of local elite, elite wannabes and 30k millionaires. Translation? You never know who is going to walk through the door.
As we were chit-chatting and enjoying the visual entertainment, a guy I know entered and walked up to the bar. He was one of those guys or girls who over the years, you see repeatedly as you and your fixed clique of single, once single and single again acquaintances move through life in a often fluctuating but never really changing mate and date scene.
He was a very good looking guy that always had a very good looking women on his arm. They however, always seemed to be the same women. Not the same in re-hooking up with a previous flame. The same in that he always seemed to be with a women from the same rotating fixed menu choices that I have seen out on the Dallas scene for the last 10 years.
That night was no exception. In lockstep behind him was a very attractive women who had also been part of the Dallas “out and about” scene for the last 10 years and had dated nine other guys I know. I turned to my girlfriend and said:
“That makes perfect sense that they are together”
She inquired as to why. “Because they are both into group sex”
She was flabbergasted and immediately suspicious. “How would you know they are into group sex!!”
“Because they run in a group that no matter how many years go by, at one point or another, everyone in the group has dated or slept with everyone else in the group. Group Sex!!
About three months later I saw the same guy again at a Dallas Mavericks game. He was with, you guessed it, another group sex girl!
What is it about this “group sex” phenomenon. Ten or Fifteen years will go by and the dating clique will move right along with it, fluctuating only as people get married, divorced, date and dumped. Always coming back to the flock like pigeons to a homing beacon. Keep in mind that this is Dallas, Texas, a large metropolis with plenty of dating options. I suspect it the same in New York City ,Chicago, Miami etc where the dating options are even more expansive.
Any explanations out there? Is a certain level of insecurity to step outside our comfort zone and into the rejection zone simply part of the human condition?
Copyright 2009
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September 10th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
people try relationships, figure out they don’t work, then go back to people they had good sex with. it works both ways… girl from “scene” calls…
her: “hi, i haven’t talked to you in sooo long”
me: “i thought you had a boyfriend”
her: “yeah, we tried but it just didn’t work out”
me: “so what’s up?”
her: “was calling to see what you were doing”
me: “just chillin, watchin a movie”
her: “can i come over?”
me: “sure”
then we end up hanging out, etc. until some other person who enjoys group sex distracts one of us.. or someone else ends a relationship and jumps back into the “dating pool” again.
September 10th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I think it happens everywhere and has for a long time. If you remember, several years back NBC tried a remake of the hit British TV series “Coupling”. The concept was good (The British version is hilarious), execution was poor. But the phenomena is ever present. I saw it in San Diego, Dallas in the early 90′s, LA in the late 80′s (Damn I’m getting old!). Hell, my first wife was a ‘group sex girl’, perhaps explaining why she’s my ex wife!
September 15th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
well, you know what, i guess such a thing is a common thing, especially when you’re a always-be-seen figure…just see it from the good side (if there any)
September 16th, 2009 at 3:49 am
It’s because you discover over time that all of your friends know all of your friends, even if it’s a handshake or two removed from a direct relationship. For instance, I recently hired a new administrator (I’m in Portland, OR). She friended me on facebook and as I was exploring the page found that we had 12 friends in common! I had never met this girl! Combine that with the the “Birds of a Feather” phenomenon and you have virtually a closed loop of relationships, 30 or 40 guys and a similar number of gilrs who each rotate through the roster.