Scanning tweets of my followers and the wall posts of my Facebook friends can be a pretty good gauge of what people are doing for fun.  It is also a great look at the dynamics, quirks and faux pas of  “dating 2.0″  relationships.

Shitty dates, no-show dates, cheapskate dates, text and twitter booty-calls, tweet-up hookups, late night iPhone Bumps, and relationship status updates that change faster than Lindsey Lohan’s religion and sexual orientation.  People hook-up and break-up without putting down their iPhones or  logging off of their Twitter or Facebook account.

Doesn’t this  pretty much sum up Generation Y relationships?   For much of my Baby Boomer dating  life we did not have cell phones or internet.  I had to ask for a home number.   I took the risk of nosy parents, brothers and sisters answering the phone.  Had to be on my game from minute one.  How did the world go on without Facebook, Sexting, Texting and Twitter from our iPhone?   God forbid we should actually have to look someone in the eye when asking them out or even worse, breaking up.

Now we are not even asking for phone numbers. We are asking for Facebook pages and Twitter user names.  When we do ask for a number we do not call, we text.  We are texting and tweeting our way to love and heartbreak. We are sending “Dear John Tweets” in 140 characters or less.   We are now  Geo-Tagging to send out our drunken GoWalla or foursquare mating call to all who we deem “GPS desirable”

We casually “bump iPhones” with the hot girl or guy in a dark bar without ever saying a word.   We have mastered the art of the sexy “Iphone bump.”  Information instantaneously exchanged. Head to the bathroom to check it out.  Not interested? Delete and walk.  The shortest 2.0 relationship in history.

You would think the following text message exchange is right out of a Sex In The City episode.  It is a real life exchange between two people I tried to hook up on a blind date.  She lives in Manhattan and he is a very well known Hollywood actor.

The back story to this exchange is that Monica and Trent had been having a torrid “text and twitter  romance” but were  unsuccessful in trying to hook up for dinner.  They agreed to meet for a late coffee at Starbucks in Mid-Town.

Monica arrives on time but Trent is running late.  Monica is waiting anxiously in anticipation of their first Starbucks meet.  Trent finally texts her (some texts have been combined to save space).

(Trent)   Give me Ten Minutes

(Monica) So, I gave you 20 mins. Haven’t heard from you. Guess your not going to show, good night.

(Trent) I’m in a cab NOW heading to the financial district just tell me the cross streets.

(Monica) You are too late, going home.

(Trent) OK but lets discuss it further when I get there.

(Monica) No. I am meeting a friend for a bite. Sorry. You should have communicated better. Next time.

(Trent) I ‘m almost there, I’ll join you and u’r friend, in fact I’ll buy you both dinner:o)

(Monica) No thank you

(Trent) Great! Which restaurant are we meeting at?

(Monica) Trent, I don’t need your charity.  I need you to be on time. You missed that window and I have made other plans.  We will have to get together another time.

(Trent) I took a cab all the way down here. It cost me a fortune.  Can you recommend a nice restaurant I can have a meal at by myself?  With all due respect there will not be another time.

(Monica) You are being ridiculous. You were 45 minutes late and I made plans.  Its your own fault. Don’t take it out on me!  Plus we were supposed to meet in  your neighborhood not mine.

(Monica)  If anything you should have apologized.  I have had one hell of a day and do not deserve to be treated that  way!

(Trent)  Ur nuts. If we were going to meet in my neighborhood you would hadda traveled up here it would have taken at least a half hour,

(Trent) i was coming to u to make it easy.  now I’m walking all  the way back from wall street I’m at canal, again no disrespect , and in an apologetic tone, LOSE MY NUMBER!

(Trent)  I left my wallet at my meeting and I used all my cash for the cab

(Monica) We talked about me coming to you. I am sorry you left your wallet at the restaurant. I’m not sure how all this is my fault. Why are you being so nasty to me?

(Monica) I didn’t do anything to you. Do you need me to bring you some money?  I’m no sure what you want me to do here.

(Monica)  By the way, if you don’t have your wallet how were you planning on buying my friend and me dinner? You’re a liar and a pig

(Trent) I’m not being nasty, just straightforward.  I thought it would be better for u and considerate of me to come meet you downtown.

(Trent) Anyway, I’ve taken off my coat and tie, rolled up my suit  jacket  and am going to try to panhandle-i’m at the union sq. park. I just need to raise 2 bux for the train

(Trent) This is embarrassing.  I hope ur satisfied!

(Trent) No.  Please don’t bring any money. I’ve already gotten 30 cents-i’ll raise two bux in less than 20 minutes but thank for the gesture. )

(Monica)  Your choice.  Stay away from the crack dealers.

(Trent) I need to put the Blackberry away or else they’ll think I as at one of those giant evil banks, and they won’t pity me.-they’ll spit on me! So I can’t continue to communicate with u…..

(Trent) No hard feelings-just not meant to be.

Love found, lost, texted and tweeted  without ever dialing a digit.   The epitome of a Dating 2.0 world.  We are advertising to the entire social networking world that we are on the market in 140 characters or less.

We used to break up in restaurants so there would not be a scene.  Now we find out  we are newly single for the first time when we see our “significant other’s” Facebook relationship status suddenly set to “single and looking”  You  try to text her and her phone number has been changed.  You try to contact her on Facebook and find you are now “blocked”. You are also blocked and “un-followed” on Twitter.  A total dating 2.0 disconnect.

In my day, if you met a girl in a bar and she thought you were a  total douchebag, the  number she gave you was actually the Rejection Hotline or Dominos Pizza.(I ate a lot of pizza)

It will not be long before we will be creating our twitter networks for the sole purpose of finding a mate.  We will see tweets like ads we now see on billboard or the billboards themselves will tweet our message to the local masses.

“30k Millionaire Tweetgeek” user name bcuban seeks SATM(Single Attractive Tweet Mate).  Tweet me your vitals and lets bump Iphones!

Any takers?

©2009 Brian Cuban

*Love On Twitter Graphic compliments of Toni Gigov.

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